Great big giant scary Giant!

Beckie has gone back to work, so I’ve been home with Alana every other day.   It seems she is starting to recognize me, and not in a good way.   The look she gives me is like this:

or kinda more like this

alana1

Up til about 2 weeks ago, Alana thought there were only 2 things in the world: her mouth, and the boobs.   Then came her butt.   Then came the Mommy attached to the boobs.   Then along came this great big giant scary giant who has no boobs and doesn’t hold her much except to put a bottle in her mouth and clean her butt.   So I get the look.

We struggle.

I try to soothe her, but she is demanding.   I work to conform, but she is fussy.   I must go above and beyond, and perhaps she will be satisfied with me.

You can do 90% and mostly satisfy a baby; you can strive for 100% and be tragically disappointed.   How can such a little meatpod hold you to such a high standard?

I crash, I burn, I fail.

Indignities I Have Suffered at Alana’s tinyHands

  • bleeding ears
  • pee-soaked hands
  • poo-soaked hands
  • gross green poo-soaked hands
  • barely a decent night of sleep in almost 2 months
  • overflowing garbage pail
  • overflowing diaper
  • cockblocking
  • screaming during a conferance call
  • screaming during poo-saked hands
  • screaming after poo-soaked hands
  • missing the first quarter of the Suns game from the luxury suite
  • vomit on my shirt
  • snot on my shirt
  • milk on my shirt
  • temperamental other daughter
  • no room left in the bed for me