The McDowell Mountain Aquatic Center has given me much to think about, especially since I have a mild chubber pretty much the whole time I’m there.

*ahem*

• If you look good, and your boobs are fake, you look really good.
• If you don’t look good, and they are fake, you went to the plastic surgeon instead of the gym. You do not look good – perfect boobs look freakish with cottage cheese thighs.
• If you look good, irregardless of boobage, you look good.

This is expressed symbolically as follows:

OO + | = :)!!!

OO + () = :(!!!

oo + | = :)!!