Medicated

For the first time ever, I’ve been popping pain killers.   i’ve dabbled with lortab or vics for a couple days after surgeries.   But never popped. My back so inflamed every muscle up and down my left leg has been spasming and firing. I think its muscular more than sciatica, getting some relief walking around with my stim unit strapped to my leg, groin, back or ass.   Its been a pleasure for the coworkers to see. Having a pad slide down your crotch during the drive and then fishing for it and ripping out the short hairs en route is another awesome carnival game.

The severity is totally my fault – hiking Petrified Forest, unpacking all day, riding the trainer a couple hrs, chopping down a tree all after the onset of pain.   Its been so long, fortunately, that i’ve had a good injury i sorta forgot how bad i am about rest.   Two trips to my chiro and i was still a wretching ball of nerves and tension and could not sit still for 30 seconds.   Driving there was more dangerous than dui. I had to goto the PCP for the scrip, even though he basically rubber stamped me when i gave him my chiro’s number and asked him to call.   That was weird. Too easy. I got all pumped up to lobby him: “um…doc? remember 2 months ago you checked on my golf-ball-sized hyperextended finger, and i didn’t even want a tylenol? so could you set aside any guilt about   meth destroying families in Apache Junction and pharm parties in Las Sendas aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand score me some shit?”   Then the PCP offered me the whole candy store.   So this is regulation?   For the record, my single 30 pill bottle of vicodin that I got in early ’04 after getting a pin in my thumb still had 11 left when this started. And since getting the meds was so easy, i sorta got kinda peeved about the $25 copay and another hour of sizzling rippling inside-out electrocution while waiting for my dope.   Why cant i buy pharm-quality stuff whenever i want? The hoops i had to go through are token, and I don’t misuse when easily available. I am not a problem.

I do get that its an addictive substance, i’ve got friends who love to party on vics, i foresee people using it like aspirin and coffee and getting hooked. I totally get that it needs some safe instructions, after playing Uomma Donna in ’00 8 weeks post-knee surgery. I played really well on Saturday, with the help of a lortab, then another that night and another before Sunday’s game.   On Day 2 the first time i planted coming down from a catch, a bolt of white lightning shot up my leg and blinded me, and i dropped the disc, and cursed out the other team in a horrendously inexcusable spirit foul. then i didn’t walk for 2 weeks.

Maybe some restrictions are good, treating something as a little dangerous.   Getting it when i legitimately needed it was not a big deal, and lack of access contributes to lack of exposure.

*smack*

*smack**smack*

That’s a hard one for a libertarian to take, and as much as i ponder it i am simply not sure how availability, legality and exposure all ultimately translate into problems or lack thereof, vs satisfaction and freedom of choice and holistic integration into society.   Would meds eventually be treated like ibu, but stronger, with the occasional OD the price of convenience for so many other people? Calling John Stuart Mill? spill in the Pharmacy aisle, bring your utility mop. i’m not into meds and i dont have a problem with them, and am just not so deeply troubled by the nominal effort to get them. my perspective however is only one of many.

As I was narrowly avoiding car accidents on the way home, and further ruining the clutch, I got a message that the drug test i might have to take will not happen (without several weeks notice) as the position has been filled internally.   How ironic! Time to test out the Green Doctor while i waited for CVS to get me my prescription smack!!!

pot sucks for pain!

it did nothing but make me hyper conscious of the cage match going on inside my leg.   Those scenes of maggots eating stuff? they were not eating, they were all dressed like Nacho Libre and going superfly off the top rope, nonstop, down my whole left side.   For me, meds work like meds and pot works like pot.

I am quite certain it works if you have glaucoma, steady chronic pain, no appetite or energy, if you need to feel floaty and fresh to forget your terminal suffering – a low-level pain reducer.   maybe i need the indica instead of the sativa, or the other way around. It works for many ailments, just not the kind i get myself into.   some people cant handle pain pills, or use them differently; pot does not relieve my acute 10-on-a-scale-of-1-to-10 pain.   7 yr old vicodin FTW!

This experiment certainly highlights my bandwagoning on the medical marijuana bandwagon.   I’m all for it, cause it will be easy to get and not worry about   being a criminal just to enjoy a “drink”.   Getting it will be about as much effort as getting meds, which is about what’s involved in getting it now, except you don’t call it pot in email.

Riding up the gondola in Telluride there were 2 older couples from Texas pondering CO’s medical mj law.   They had no experience with pot, and were cracking jokes about how advocates acted like it heals a broken leg. But not all smarmy and FOX-Newsy, but like simple people of the land intaking the rare air.   It was hysterical listening but trying to act like i wasn’t listening. like that could happen in a gondola.   Maybe they figured I was gettin’ dirty I was cool wit it. which is kinda true. but beside the point! It was so genuine, and totally poked some reality into the holy grail of medical mj   – does anyone at all believe that its *only* about medicine? You don’t see people so passionately lined up for more liberal dispensing of vicodin in the name of freedom. I’m still totally cool withthe compromise, its worth it for de facto decriminalization.

So how is it that something i don’t abuse,   i dont have a problem with mild restrictions on it? But something that, by many definitions, I do abuse and personally don’t find medicinal i think should be totally legal, while willingly ceding some control just so we can get it decriminalized?   My libertarianism again donkey-punched!   When i thought a smoke might fuck up a job interview, and didn’t want to be the punchline in a dumbass stoner joke, i stopped for months snap snap np. The only thing i can’t stay off of is a bike, which is why my back pain is hanging around. we’re all largely happy with the meds model and the more-liberal alcohol model.   The current restrictions are not all that burdensome, for some things we all agree do some things. I surrender my philosophy for a good buzz.

Petrified Forest

Beckie has been wanting to stop here for a few years.   Its actually a good park for kids, other than being completely exposed and baking in the heat.   We did 4-5 short hikes of about a mile each.   G walked almost all of them, and Kila could come too.

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Ups and Downs in Telluride

I love Telluride! It may be my favorite vacation spot. Sure it rained and we couldn’t keep Alana clean for more than 5 minutes, but putting in a bike park with free lifts more than compensates. As did poaching the wifi from the Parks and Recs dept, even if i had to sit in the bathroom to do it.

We set up again in Town Park, then played on the playgrounds.

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We wanted a hike at mountain-top since we didn’t really explore up there our last trip, and insanely decided to hoof it up See Forever Trail to the very top of the resort. As we approached the end of the trail, a maintenance worker commented he’d never seen anyone take a jogging stroller up here. Yeah, we’re crazy like that. 1500 vf and 2 miles later, the views were amazing.

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The descent was almost as much work as the climb.

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Everyone needed a break, and a little refueling.

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Restaurant hit the spot, where Kila got all of Alana’s spillage.

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It rained all night, and thwarted my plans to get out early for the bike park. Instead we drove Kenga up past the mill above Bridal Veil Falls.   The drive was slow and terrifying, but sure beat the walk.   Looking over the dashboard during this u-turn was the scariest thing i’ve ever done in a car.

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We pushed up the trail until the terrain and impending weather got too worrisome to go further. Beers and picnic were worth it, at least for me and Beckie. G once again was talked off the ledge, and once again had a great time in spite of herself.

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pushing the jogging stroller up this was brutal, and surely contributed to me being curled into an aching ball of sciatica upon returning home

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stopped on the way down to let me gather my shit from all the switchbacks, and everyone else enjoy Bridal Veil Falls.

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Beckie and the kids prepared for the playground, while i armored up for the bike park.   G asked me to ride wither her on her spidey-bike around the campground as I was ready to leave. It cost me a run before the oncoming weather, but how could I say no to my favorite little girl wanting to ride bikes?

I finally hit the gondola in full storm-trooper gear, but no pics were taken in the bike park.   I’m just not that good.   And I was alone. I did 5 runs in 15 minute intervals before the rain drove me off the mountain, my first time ever doing lift-assisted riding.   IT WAS AWESOME!   My first run was down No Brainer, to get a feel for the hill and the berms. It kinda bored me, which kinda fired me up to hit the black runs. The next four runs i hit Pan   Coaster with some dabbles into the World Cup trail, and it was simply awesome.   I wadded up on the jumps the first time down, out of practice and seeing them for the first time, but began to get my flow on a few near the bottom. On the third run i hit the big 4 foot drop between the aspen right at the start on Squirrel Catcher, and got progressively bolder at each trial I faced. I was definitely starting to feel the trail, so much that I ate shit off the Squirrel Catcher jump on the 4th run, the promptly pushed back up and pumped before liftoff and hit it clean. This was my pattern, as is typically my pattern: gradual progressions with confidence and humility.   I was feeling good, ready to try just about everything but 2 big trials on the World Cup trail, but a strong storm blew in.   It was dry at the top, but from the top of the run to the bottom I lost all braking and all control. I went otb on one steep slot I’d nailed 3 times in a row, bashed my helmet against a rock, and knew it was time to go.   Alas. Alas and alack. At least my ego got fed enough to feel good about my efforts and still quit while i was ahead.

I froze back down the gondola and quick spin back to camp, froze while repacking my gear, and suffered beckie’s frozen stare while surfing the tubez in the baffroom.   We all huddled in the tent, drank a bottle of wine and ate graham crackers, but woke to a beautiful morning.

Today was Beckie’s turn to head out, and she did a long run along the Telluride River Trail.   When she returned I headed up for what I hoped would be the jewel of the vacation: up See Forever, then 3500 feet down the backside of the mountain on Wasatch Connector to the Bear Creek Trail and   back into town.

I pushed a brutal 10 minutes, .3 miles and 400 feet off the lift, then rode 1.5 miles with .4 miles intermittent pushing to the top.   The last big pitch was intimidating, but I was fired up when i hit the summit.

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The descent down was scary.   The trail was not gnarly like in Arizona, but 6 inches wide through talas with unforgiving dropoffs.   I walked what did not look solid, hooted through what did, and sniffed practically every flower down the initial descent.

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This basin was just a false bottom, with a huge waterfall soon after it that led to more switchbacks, more exposure, more huge dropoffs to tune out. It was hard to believe there was so much more descending to do. It went on and on and on.

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After awhile it felt ridiculous, like I was tempting fate by continuing, each switchback obscured by plants and full of loose or embedded rocks.   It wasn’t that hard, but being new to the trail and have trouble seeing what was coming up, i just never knew when i’d be forced to ride loose rocks next to a dropoff or get knocked off line by the encroaching fauna on all sides.   I definitely went small, and finally – mercifully – emerged onto the tame Bear Creek trail.   Our plan was for everyone to hike up Bear Creek and for us to hopefully meet up.   It was joyous when i saw the family rounding a turn in front of me.

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We hung out and had a picnic before heading back to camp.

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Then up the gondola for more playgrounds and exploring and french fries and beer before a sunset ride on the gondola down the hill.

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Without a Doubt, the Best Ride EVER!!!

That’s a bold statement.

Yes Vincent Vega, and totally accurate.

Out the door, tie the dog along the Westworld Path, through Horizon Park, through the pedestrian tunnels under Thompson Peak and Frank Lloyd Wright, to the front door of Panda Express.

Sure its not the best chinese food, but it filled my backpack for $36, and was well-packed to travel.

Let’s review:

  • bikeable
  • no cars
  • drunk and no driving
  • dog gets a run
  • copious amounts of chinese food

Case closed.

Big Challenges in Ouray

We left Durango on the Million Dollar Highway, which once again was beautiful and terrifying driving through the clouds.   Approaching Silverton, we began driving through a deluge for the better part of an hour.

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While we unloaded and dried out every single item in the truck bed, i cursed myself for taking the seatpost off the Heckler and tried to get an inch of water out of the frame. Alana displayed her burgeoning verbal skills, concern for others, and savant-like abilities.

Finally we were off along the Uncompahgre River Trail – G and I on the 2-bike, and Beckie running with Alana.

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Alana was climbing up and down this by herself after a few tries while G and I sang Pinto’s Pretty Pony song.

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she ventured into new tunnels

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G remembered this from 2 years ago.   Hard to know if she could actually recall things from when she was 2.5, but she was certain she could.

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minutes after this photo, another storm dropped in on top of us.   G began to panic and cry. I got her under control, told her we had to suck it up and pedal back to our cabin, that i’ve ridden through many storms, and that panicking was only going to make things worse. It was amazing to witness her get herself under control and focus on getting herself out of trouble.   Every 30 seconds I’d tell her how good she was doing, to keep pedaling, to not freak out. She kept repeating “I’m not freaking out, I’m not freaking out.” Many times over the weekend we talked her down while high on a mountain or with a storm on the horizon.   I don’t know if she did better or worse than most kids, but it sure seemed to me an accomplishment.

The next morning i launched early to climb the Portland Trail. The climb up out of town was hard from the start, but once I got on the trail it was a tuff but steady climb up to the high point at 9k

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I dropped a few hundred feet down the Cascade Trail, then mostly-pushed my bike up the Chief Ouray Mine Trail 1 mile and 1300 vf. I thought I was going to puke, measuring progress 1 switchback at a time, amazed that 5 min would go by and I’d have chomped off 300 feet.   That last half mile leveled out at 10k into a very exposed traverse.

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From the mine, I got a magnificent view down into Ouray, followed by a methodical dh full of super-tight switchbacks.  With few rocks and no cactus, it was no big deal after riding Tom’s Thumb.   Sure the CO climbs are brutal and humbling, but the terrain and the climate certainly compensate compared to AZ.

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I met Beckie and the girls at the town pool, and was disheartened to learn that the town now required riders on the slides to be 48″ tall! FUCK!!!! Why wasn’t this on the website?!?!? I told the lifeguards that G had ridden these 2 full years ago, and that we specifically planned a few days here so she could ride the slides. They were very sympathetic and polite in hearing me out, but told me the city recently changed its policies as an insurance requirement. Fucking lawyers!

We were told G could ride if she could pass a swim test – a 25 meter lap of both free and backstroke. This was more distance than she’d ever done. She was eager to try, but I was worried about further heartbreak if she crapped out. I wasn’t worried about her fitness, but mentally I really did not think she could do it. She hopped in the water while I swam right next to her and Beckie and Alana stood at the far end. It wasn’t pretty, and I talked to her the whole way, but she made it across the pool. The backstroke was just as ugly, me telling her every stroke to just do a little more, a little more, that hours of fun were just a few strokes away.   When she finally touched the wall, it was about the happiest i’ve ever seen her.   She was even bumping rocks with the lifeguard.

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We rode slides almost non-stop for the next 3 hrs. G probably hit them 50 times, and me probably 25 with her once Alana fell asleep.   Had they kept them open longer, she would have gone all night long.

Afterwards at the playground, Alana found some inspiration to push herself too.

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Durango and the Animas River

Kenga was loaded with every bit of bike and camping gear we owned, and even slowed by child-induced gas station marathons, we made it to Durango in just 8 hours.   There was much rejoicing for fresh air and greenery.

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After a night at Junction Creek Campground chilling, sleeping late, and watching Alana find new and interesting ways of filthifying and injuring herself, we loaded the 2-bike and the trailer for an afternoon along the Animas River trail.

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We stopped at a playground for romping, beers, and some swimming in the river

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the path was 15 miles out-and-back, a not-insignificant effort even on the pavement.   G’s longest day on the 2-bike, and she did great.

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We stopped briefly at the County Fair on the way back to camp so G could ride the ferris wheel.   This was our first time doing anything more than passing through Durango, and it has a lot to offer. Easy to get around, and the campground is just outside of town.   Turns out a high school friend of mine that I’ve reconnected with on FB lives just down the street – we unfortunately were not able to hook up, but having a friend living 2 miles from camp and at the start of the Colorado Trail is reason to return.

Back at camp, we picked up Kila then headed further up the mountain for an easy hike at 9k along the Animas Valley Overlook before more marshmallows.

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Liquid Aggression

We 3 hooligans ducked into the MMR pool today.   G was rowdy and raucous and the life of the party, as usual. Alana started slow, but a change in her demeanor was quickly evident. Last time she was afraid to venture 2 steps from the edge of the baby pool.   This time she waltzed across it, up the stairs, and held out her hand for me to help her jump from the side over and over again.

I’ve realized that its not just the depth, but the scope and the surroundings that make my kids afraid of the water.   G being so much easier to translate and communicate sometimes makes Alana’s progressions fade into the background. Today I told G to go to the big pool herowndamnself and leave me and her little sister alone.   3 minutes later, Alana too was bored of the baby pool.

In the past when I’ve towed her, she’s arched her body into a parachutist’s pose, trying to get every ounce out of the water. Today she relaxed her legs and enjoyed the pull.   In the past when I’ve picked her up she’s clung to me for dear life; today she realized we were taking turns tossing into the air and could not wait for G’s turn to finish.   She stood on the steps with her arms outstretched, clearly verklempt having to wait so long. I threw her far above my head, each beat of the countdown her smile got bigger in that goofy quiet way she has of co-existing in the shadow of her big sister.   Even when I missed her on the catch and she dropped to the bottom, she coughed and smiled and held out her arms to be thrown again.

G crapped out before Alana did.   Alana wanted to play more Toss the Baby.

next year there is bound to be an earthquake or a hurricane

The big fire in Flagstaff   6 weeks ago wiped out the center of the Crazy 88 route. The Flag folks seem to have rebounded by enjoying many of their other miles of great trails. Nate dusted himself off and put together what promised to be another fun underground race. I wasn’t going to miss it, for all the same reasons I’ve made the last 2 – great people, great event, and inspiration to get me through the dark days of summer.

Unfortunately, rain started before the pre-ride meeting, and didn’t let up til an hour after the last rider bailed. T-roy cracked open the bottle of El Jimedor I brought before we rolled out. It kept me warm for about 27 seconds.

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Kila sez “eff this noize, I’ll be waiting right here”, and indeed she was when i returned 7 hours later
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The first 5 miles were beautiful flowy downhill through tight singletrack, but the lack of exertion and water running right down the trail had me shivering.   The thought of 6 more hours of borderline hypothermia had me on the verge of bailing after only 40 minutes, but I couldn’t stand the thought of such a piss-poor effort after I hauled all my gear up the rim and already would have to break the whole bike down and clean it. Maad was right behind me,   and he’s basically been living in Flag this summer…i cant deny his disapproving gaze and subtle telepathy of “don’t be a loser Chollaball!” affected my decision.   A few people bailed down a fireroad, a few opted to follow the original course down a moto singletrack which would likely have even deeper muddier ruts, I slipped on my leg warmers and joined about 10 others for a shortcut that would get us at least 20 miles and close to 2 hours minimum.

Arriving at our next nut-up-or-shut-up point at mile ~13 (mile 21 on the original route), I started to warm up, but my Etrex Vista gps had crapped out.   Now my decision got really hard – bail, or go on not knowing if I could map the route? Fate saved me – I missed the next turn, and ducked into a nice trailhead parking lot where I got out of the rain and sorted out my gear. As I was taking off my camelback, I yanked the strap of the Forerunner 201 off my wrist and the pin holding it to the unit shot away. Fucking great! now I was off course, and neither gps was working! I wanted to cry, I wanted another shot of tequila, I wanted a hit – and here I was dope-free for the past month since I’m on the job market .   I took a deep breath, gave the Etrex new batteries, found the pin for the Forerunner, wiped my glasses with some dry TP from the warm and wind-free baffroom, and doubled back to find the turnoff I’d missed.

I’ve only used the Etrex a few times since i got it at Xmas, and never for tracking a route and waypoints. It worked so well I can’t imagine not having one for an event like this ever again – I was spot-on course for the next 5 hrs and 30 miles.   At one point I came upon 4 other dismal lost riders who were attempting the same variation on the route as I, but somehow going in the exact opposite direction! They too trusted in my gps and eventually finished (and toasted me en masse around the firepit!).   But despite being on course, the next mile was a terrible stretch of death-mud that threatened to kill my new-found optimism.   If it continued at the next turn, I was going to throw in the towel and backtrack home. It stopped, and thankfully wound up being the only such stretch of the race. The rest was just sinking, sucking, splashing, slogging, sloppy going that added who-knows-how-much effort to every pedal turn. There were times when my fingers got too numb and stiff to work the shifters, but mostly i was just chilly and chafing and heavy and uncomfortable for about 7 straight hours.   Its hard to quantify how much it took out of me, its not like a 10-yard penalty, but realizing the lack of efficiency I decided early-on my goal was to simply complete the 50 mile course (42 with the bypass of the moto route) and not even consider the full 65.   I was kinda disappointed that I’d lowered my expectations so early in the day, thinking that all the strongest riders from Flag who’d launched down the moto route would surely pass me at some point, comfortable with the weather and the altitude.   But I knew I was a Desert lad who had not worn socks or underwear in 4 months, was pissing from every sip of gatorade with my body so well-tuned to conserving water, was shivering on every downhill, and was shredding every moving component of my bike. I always have something to prove, but my showing at the 12 Hours at Night allowed me to gracefully accept that today was an act of God and not an act of lack-of preparation.   The 50 course it would be!

I fought my way to the rest stop at mile 33, where Nate’s awesome friends rewarded us with shammy butter and bacon.

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There were 2.5 miles of dh after the break, and I kinda hated it my body reacted so violently to the cold.   Then there were 11 miles of jeep-road slogging til I got within sight of the finish 5 miles further on.   A truck which looked vaguely familiar came bouncing down the road after about 7 miles, and lo-and-behold Nate waved from the window! All the Flagstafricans who’d launched down the moto route bailed out after slogging 4 hrs and only a few miles through deep mud.   i wasn’t happy to see my friends suffer, but learning that everyone else’s day and expectations had also gone to shit made my situation suddenly seem pretty hardcore! I pressed on with another little lift in my spirits, and also psyched knowing that (1) I was in first place!, and (2) folks were back at camp seeing to Kila and tapping the keg.

The next 3 miles of jeep road were hardpacked, but super-sloppy with pooled water in every deep rut. It was the first jeep road off highway 180, and was thick with traffic. Getting splashed didn’t bother me, it hardly registered i was so sloppy through-and-through, and i got my vengeance passing the vehicles along the roadside as they crept through the many 20-yard pools of muddy water.   When I crossed 180 and got to the final 5 miles, I suddenly was overcome with weariness. It seemed so far way! I crawled into the Pain Cave and spun so slowly only the sound of the rain reminded me time was passing. Eventually i finished, my mind and body not-quite on the same wavelength as the rest of the world.   Someone handed me a beer in a commemorative pint glass and told me I’d won.

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First, and likely last time ever, on the podium
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I hung around camp for the first time in my 3 times doing this (Nate’s) races, without the family for a change. It was awesome chillin with some of the riders I’ve briefly greeted in years passed, and have gotten to know a little better this past year through James. I nursed a few beers, engaged in many shenanigans, and watched the El Jimedor become ex-Jimedor. The rain finally passed, and we briefly considered launching back out to fininsh the loop.

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driving home I ran over a skunk near Schultz Pass Road, and smelled stank til I got on I-17 and outran the funk, but it was there waiting for me when I pulled into the driveway. The bike needed new brake pads front and back, probably a new headset and bottom bracket cups, and had a scar on the fork stanchion an inch long from something horrible that got caught in the death-mud. i spent 3 hours in the ManCave stripping it down and still have work to do, but am not too upset, as somehow it seems another Phoenix summer has passed me by.

Thanks Nate, Bev for the awesome cookies, and everyone else for the great company.