hey babes, more kits!

Some good lookin stuff here,  but i bought this.

when i told beckie she said i was a dork. Not for buying one, but for waiting so long. How could i retort, when it cost only $19? I have socks that cost more. I have bought pitchers at sports bars that cost more.

i got the innertubez and an hdmi cable now.   Laundry, dishes, weights and pilates instead of sitting in a bar at 10am. and hanging with my little teammates. better than season tickets. #we.bleed.green.

We like to dress the same. We like to cat-pile.

Jerseys last forever. My granddad bought this for me when i was like 14. i havent really been a Dolphins fan since the lukewarm reign of Jay Fiedler.

My high school girlfriend bought me this when we drove to U Penn to celebrate after her early acceptance.

A few day earlier i bought us both Princeton sweatshirts when my early acceptance came. The speckles you see are moth holes, the guns you see are real.

I have too many jerseys, and they look the same as the day i got them ~25 yrs ago.  Indestructible. When the memory of the emotion behind the shirt becomes so null and hollow its worth less than the  actual shirt on Ebay,  its time to get a tax writeoff from Goodwill. Thanks Grandpa Alexander, goodbye Miriam; cleaning out the closet. There are starving children in Africa who want to root for Mark Clayton  on hand-me-down versions of Madden ’84. Note: Clayton  (5’9″ 177)   and  Mark Duper (5′ 9″ 185) stand as evidence of the NFL’s evolution — today’s prototypical wide receiver now is 6’2″ 210-ish.

I don’t warm to things easily, nor do I shed them easily. I like to gatekeep the narrative of myself, a Sartre-esque indulgence that satisfies the majority of me that lives in my mind. So, when my #5 jersey arrived the day before the Eagles-Cardinals tilt, I had to show my loyalty on a 3.5 hour Windgate-Pemberton-Rocknob-Landslide-Bell beatdown.

6am, here comes the furnace  

how is it possible that a shirt can offer absolutely no sun protection, and still be completely non-breatheable? Chainmail for the 1st World – I had not a single scratch from cat claw after the ride. Mebbe i should keep the Dolphins shirt for trail work days?

halfway, bout to hit the funnest little illegal trail i never suspected.  

Climbing back out Coachwhip on double-track, a couple novice riders pulled over rather than pass me bar-to-bar, and one mumbled ‘Hang in there.’

Aww no, yer not gonna hang-in-there me!!!

What’s wrong with a simple ‘have a nice day’? Its polite, and non-judgemental. The weight and heat of the jersey hurt, but fandom and fashionistaism know no bounds.

I returned to teammates wanting a bike ride to brunch. Little toasty at 11:30, as i struggled through the longest steepest flat 1.5 miles of my life. Egg white omelet with asparagus tastes like ass compared to a ham-and-cheese.

Patio at Over Easy, its like the REDFACE Plague!

It didn’t matter (much) that the Eagles endured a complete ass-raping from the Cards. I got drunk with dehydrated expedience. After 42 yrs I have finally accepted that I can not affect the game from 2000 miles away on Tivo. I still look good, I rock the tailgate, the true fashionista just knows.

 

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