Month: September 2014
let me fix that for ya
i drew a multidimensional model to illustrate a delivery problem. It got immediate traction, which was neat to see the notion of multiples affecting buyin and consensus.
When you are testing an api, you attack the environment and the identity, and then spin though multiples of four. When there is no identity and the ui is the same, you spin through multiples of four. I have done this with variables and method signatures, dropdown lists or landing pages. Peel the onion, with multiples of 4.
I liked Transcendence, he wasn’t omnipotent, he was just multiples of 4 better. If only he required pre-consensus to pitch. So I came up with some stretch goals.
IF I WAS SEMI-OMNIPOTENT
1. renewable, cheap, clean energy source
2. that would heal the planet
3. that would allow people to accumulate wealth, or not, as they chose. because there would be no food shortages
4. make everyone vote
5. make every school system employ, or subscribe to, a CoSuperIntendant who’s career was previously in private industry
6. repeal Citizens United
Bulldozed 2
giveth, taketh away, and shit.
Across Bell road they are building something, and the ground is stacked up carved up like a playground.
“girls we need to hit that asap!
I stopped the car and pointed while they glanced a monsoon rainbow over Bell Pass, conveyed its temporality, and we agreed to hit it tomorrow night (instead of pedaling home from school), if i would check out how packed it was.
I burst in after the last v1 Tequila Tree ride, evah, and G knew my big secret as soon as i shouted “Guess what!!”
“The hill is ridable!!!”
I dropped a couple 2 footers, rolled others I could not see, and tested the pitches. It took another week til G and I explored, freerode, created a Geneline g-out down the long easy face and up a 2 foot carved ledge that we kicked out and clawed and packed enough for a navigable 8yo tranny.
“MOM THE HILL IS SO MUCH FUN!”
you said, who said, whut about my parenting?
The next night we returned with Alana, and Beckie, and a shovel. We added an Alanaline stepping down a foot then another, scratched in a line up the other side as the Arizona soil turned solid so fast, and an approach line to the top of the small pitch. Marked em with rocks, so hard to see in the dark, when you finally line it up you don’t believe the foot-wide safe lines are there, but you do it anyway, cause you learned. First time for both of them to suspend their disbelief and ride it anyway. #parentingforgnarness
The hill got torn up the next week, and it was too dark and we had too much fun to take pics. but it looked a little like this:
HighDive
our first summer in Scottsdale we went to the MMR Aquatic Center rigorously from 1-5p on weekends, screamed in on weedays at 5:30 for a few minutes of coolness, fought for schedule, fought for shade, friends, angst-ridden teenaged lifeguards every 14 meters, and bitched that the kids weren’t tall enough to enjoy the slides and boards despite our summerlong pass for $120. LifeTime is insanely more expensive, but so much more copacetic with better hours and recognition of the customer. Alana began climbing at 4.5yo, and sliding at 41 inches with a lean. We still play Toss The Baby and bring our own toys and balls and guns. Fuck yeah, i said guns, its Arizona and we’re gonna squirt eachother or die trying.
4 years later, at an offsite swimteam practice to work on the blocks, G realized she was tall enough to rip shit up. She looked at the high board, hesitated, looked at me, hesitated, heard the grumbles underneath her, and dropped off the board. Her high was typically contagious, reborn for me through experiencing hers first-hand. It was the best day that week for both of us
The highdive was the entire purpose of our next trip, looking to fill a long 3-day weekend at 105, and hold out a bribe to make her study. textbook baller athletic leap.
Alana had no such fear. I had to nearly-dislocate her shoulder pointing her back to the 3ft board, “at least for a practice, or 2, huh?”
2 tries was all Alana needed.
Me: Its exactly the same, but looks scarier, but its exactly exactly the same
Alana: (barely listening) yea
Me: Don’t panic, just go up there and jump off. Don’t overthink it, don’t look down, just jump
Alana: (singing to self…let it go, let it go, can’t hold back anymore) are we done here?
She climbed directly up and walked directly out and dropped directly into the pool. The kid with no backbone and no stamina and no grit also has no fear when she feels no need. She’s Gwen Stefani, or a savant.
By the end of the afternoon, Alana had 10 10yos she never met cheering her every move. The kid hears a musical in her head, and never stops singing, ever. It is very contagious.
Oh hey…I can still dive! The first time in 4 years I threw my legs too far forward, the next time I got skeered at the top of my bounce. Then 15 years of not-diving never happened, I grasped that long moment hanging weightless pondering what next to do about it. Started giggling, the moment was so available, to be shaped. Countless times a summer growing up i went off the highboard, G hit it 30x today, but i never before had such a moment of clarity. Jumping(ish) bikes and rolling steeps and snowboarding for 30 years, i saw it. I SAW IT. I was really scared, but if I could get a diving instructor today, i could be doing flips tomorrow. I am a good student, and I REALLY want to.
