G’s Bike: The Honeymoon got greasy

Everyone wants to be a rapper, but bringing a prototype to life takes work. Beckie’s company wants to hire a talented ombudsperson to do this, and I would be great for a huge payraise, but, when things need the ombudsperson who is going to step up and meet the systematic defects that need to be addressed by the aformentioned ombusdsperson? These involve stakeholders who inevitably contributed to the clusterfuck. A hired gun is only as good as his hirees! I just made that up.

Admittedly, 3 hours to choose a 15 to 19t jump or a 16-19t jump on the cassette is kinda dull for a little girl. Its all about red anodized metal.

I have given up on the idea of the bike-build being a processional of protocol and father-daughter pictures and narrative. They can not go 3 minutes without bickering. I will settle for moments of connection, listening, and love. I will snug up the wrenching.

wrapping up a Wolftooth conversion. 40-11t, so hawt.

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free coozy as a packing bubble

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girls with torque wrenches

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IB Trail, Flagstafrica, USA

We missed the Aspen peak by about 10 days, but it was still an awesome daytrip.

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Pinnacle Peak Recon

A friend shared a map that would drop out of Snottsdale into a canyon and back up again. It was as advertised, and fun to figure out how to hook up the bypass through Pinnacle Peak Road.

Riding out I skidded to brake as this web spanned 4ft across the trail. My front wheel took out all the damage to the circle you see. Six more inches and I would have swallowed this spider, which was the size of my thumb.

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down in the canyon past the dead end on Pinnacle Peak road, and many wide patches of datura in bloom.

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one hour later, the spider was again ready to eat

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Kittens, Hairballs, Byron!

First time in 9 years Byron and us shared the house together! It was awesome. we fixed shit, worked on the roof, he taught the girls to fish. About 5 min with each of them in a kayak and they were pulling food out of ocean. That’s some uncle-tastic magic right there, yo. We went for a ride too! Byron’s first fatbike esperience, i drug him through dunes and over jumps and up Whale Hill and things he’d never seen in our 10 years owning the place together. That’s riding-buddy magic right there, yo.

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The day for braiding finally came, and it was magnificent. Maria’s hands spun 40 frequency a minute.

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Which was still not fast enough for Monster the Lesser

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Mittens and Cookies are still alive!!!

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What do you say about vacation pets?

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hors cat!!

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G on her first solo paddleboard

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Alana and G on their first solo paddleboard

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Homework

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Biking Without Riding

This week was copious time on the trainer, reading the QBP catalog. Calculating. Spending.

 

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truing wheels!
Thank you Alex. These factory-built hummers are sturdy and will care for my girls. You get lots of donations of outdated stuff when you go 9mm QR, yo!
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throwing dirt all Sunday morning
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We built this in about 3 days.  Some pics ganked from Fish, Kenny and other GROAZers
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The girls were not invited to this workday, with all the machinery, which made me far more productive. The vast summation of our efforts at the last workday was a gecko that dropped its tail.

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This park is gonna be sick, and legal. Pinch me, this isn’t really happening. Some pics of the DH runs, also borrowed from the net.

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The dirt is actual soil,i feel naked without the threat of rocks. Like a prisoner drug to the Roman Coliseum, I did not know man could build such things.

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The skills area is at mid-hill, the green, blue and black lines coming down above it.

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A shop stop on the way home. v-brake boss plugs removed, new used seatpost, good advice. Thanks Morgan and Rage!

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maybe just a little riding
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This made me happy

Gs 26 – Early Phase

Previously on ‘TinyShredder‘…

G need new bike, xmas is coming, we are sick of childlike bullshit overweight cheap dumb fucking kids bikes. And with help from Rage we discovered G can fit into a 26 frame! Ahhh, adult sizes, where high-end drive trains and forks and brakes and wheelsets are so mass produced they perform featherlightly for mere pennies!

Except they have all become 27.5 wheels, with through axels and hydros, complexity and sensitivity to swallow a little girl. I saw a picture of a Felt carbonfiber 24inch-standover 29er. If I plunked $250 for a smaller crankset and $250 for a better fork, G would set 8yo landspeed records at $2k, and would kill herself turning at 4mph, engulfed by the adultness of intent and equilibrium. 4mph doesn’t sound like much, until you throw yourself at the ground from a dead stop — that’s about 4. This dilemna led to shopping for the lowest of the low-end mass produced lines for a frame and $300 into the ether of stupid. or…

or…

buying a frame!

*sigh*

The most custom custom bike build I’ll have ever done is for G.

*headscratch**facepalm* I am soooo bitter about this.

Why, bikegod, why have you let this FunSucker taketh another gift from me!!?!?!? I’ve ridden National 3 times this year. I USED TO RIDE NATIONAL 2X A MONTH!!! 

Performance 14.5 26inch frame. This is the most important thing i’ve ever bought from Performance, since a Gary Fisher Sugar3 15 years ago, a chainsuck deathmachine I finally left by the side of the road. But even Performance cant fuck up an aluminum hardtail frame someone else made and they only painted? I took it to Rage for the facing, instead of play Russian Roulette with the mechanics at Performance.

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so purty, hanging next to those $2k Yetis
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After I brought it home , we strolled through the garage seeing the blue and white cables on the Fatty Catty and the Bird, the blue ring on the Malice, the red grips on HeiHei. Time for a paint program!

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My elevator pitch: red cranks, red rings, red shifter cable! White brake cables and fork!! Restrained and softened Hurricane G vs. the power of the Genasaurus? The middle blue so soothing.

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Alana could not be bothered to heed advice for the 10th time in 5 minutes. The past 30 min the two of them with my help and zero damage removed a bottle cage from a bike, washed it, and remounted it on the new frame. It was death. G was wailing over the inherent patience and precision of bike work, and taking it out on Alana.  Alana was playing with every small, fragile, or destructive object in sight, like a cat with a feather, or nagging G to hurry up.

Me: DONT GET NEAR G WHILE SHES CARRYING HER BIKE!

Me: DONT GRAB THE SEATCLAMP WITH THE PLIERS!

Me: TAKE THE HEADSET OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!

Me: DONT JUGGLE THE HEX NUTS AND WASHERS!

Me: DONG GRAB THE 3-in-1′s TIP WITH THE PLIERS!

Me: DONT GET NEAR G WHILE SHES CARRYING HER BIKE!

At some point, you have to let it be mountain biking, and learn your limits by wrecking.

In the last week I’ve shown them how to remove a rotor, service a cassette, mount a tubeless tire, and clamp a brake cable. But neither at the same time, and neither enough steps in sequence to complete a single task. They both will know how to build half a bike, but neither half can complete a single task without the other. its Dante-esque.

first bit of bling
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Bulk Trash

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let me fix that for ya

Automation and Test Data

i drew a multidimensional model to illustrate a delivery problem. It got immediate traction, which was neat to see the notion of multiples affecting buyin and consensus.

When you are testing an api, you attack the environment and the identity, and then spin though multiples of four. When there is no identity and the ui is the same, you spin through multiples of four. I have done this with variables and method signatures, dropdown lists or landing pages. Peel the onion, with multiples of 4.

I liked Transcendence, he wasn’t omnipotent, he was just multiples of 4 better. If only he required pre-consensus to pitch. So I came up with some stretch goals.

IF I WAS SEMI-OMNIPOTENT

1. renewable, cheap, clean energy source
2. that would heal the planet
3. that would allow people to accumulate wealth, or not, as they chose. because there would be no food shortages
4. make everyone vote
5. make every school system employ, or subscribe to, a CoSuperIntendant who’s career was previously in private industry
6. repeal Citizens United

Bulldozed 2

giveth, taketh away, and shit.

Across Bell road they are building something, and the ground is stacked up carved up like a playground.

“girls we need to hit that asap!

I stopped the car and pointed while they glanced a monsoon rainbow over Bell Pass, conveyed its temporality, and we agreed to hit it tomorrow night (instead of pedaling home from school), if i would check out how packed it was.

I burst in after the last v1 Tequila Tree ride, evah, and G knew my big secret as soon as i shouted “Guess what!!”

 ”The hill is ridable!!!”

I dropped a couple 2 footers, rolled others I could not see, and tested the pitches. It took another week til G and I explored, freerode, created a Geneline g-out down the long easy face and up a 2 foot carved ledge that we kicked out and clawed and packed enough for a navigable 8yo tranny.

“MOM THE HILL IS SO MUCH FUN!”

you said, who said, whut about my parenting?

The next night we returned with Alana, and Beckie, and a shovel.  We added an Alanaline stepping down a foot then another, scratched in a line up the other side as the Arizona soil turned solid so fast, and an approach line to the top of the small pitch. Marked em with rocks, so hard to see in the dark, when you finally line it up you don’t believe the foot-wide safe lines are there, but you do it anyway, cause you learned. First time for both of them to suspend their disbelief and ride it anyway. #parentingforgnarness

The hill got torn up the next week, and it was too dark and we had too much fun to take pics. but it looked a little like this:

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