Haboob

July 4th Eve, @Tequila Tree. haboob rolling over Somo.

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Somo…gone. Papago…gone. But it looks like it will miss the McDs! so I will keep drinking.

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slight miscalculation. damn that came in fast.

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if ur not hiking the view’s probably not worth it

Low tide this visit was 6am and 6pm. The town and beach were teeming with touronistas, so I headed out on the fatty catty to the Morua Estuary, to see sights that between the tides and seasons are usually underwater.

The sandbar was currently forming a relatively deep tide pool, with a steep slope on its edge. Made for a nice off-camber challenge. Next morning I rallied the family to hike ~20 minutes from the end of the road out to it for a swim. You could jump off the slope in the background and land in 4 feet of water – not a feature you normally get ’round c’here.

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The sandbar at the mouth of the estuary has a cool reef at the end of it, that my kids call Bird Island. We last went here 2 years ago in winter. We hiked about 30 min there at sunset the next day.

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I don’t understand why 200 pelicans don’t just turn and eat one little girl? The dune in the background is about 100 feet tall, and has a few ribbons of gravel that run through it, such that you can ride much of the way from the beach to the top, and then whoop back down.

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It was not all so simple.
We’ve had these cats, who we’ve been feeding for awhile.
and we could not say no to another cat, or 2

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Mittens and Cookies spent 4 days nosing their way in, fleeing, coming back, and regretting it, and making us feel awkward and ugly and unwantable. They decided they did not want to be house cats. Yet flush with estrogen and a weekend of no-adoption fees throughout most of Maricopa County, we succumbed.

Welcome Crumb!

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Selfies

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psych song

Katy Perry – Roar

 

A year of club soccer, and sometimes i wonder if G has gotten any better or learned any lessons at all. She is still so emotional and uneven, hitting glass ceilings and not improving, or much being inspired to.

is it her? the coach? the position? me? her mom? the team? the club? the sport? tinyAthlete-parenting does not get a lot of empathetic coverage on cnnsi.com…  Outside of work, its the most stressful thing in my life. Applying to charter schools, for the chance to be balanced, fit, socialized, and popular. It may be more important than pure academics. Don’t fucking tell me its not important. No one wins by only being smart.

The  fundamental training premise of soccer coaches is to throw little girls into small-sided death matches until they become immune to the bloodshed, bored with the carnage, the ego-centric play, the flexible rules and boundaries and goalies or lackthereof. Its UFC, without the alcohol or the betting, and it sucks for the fan – no one wins and you look super-dumb if you get psyched. Every once in a while i whistle to G and give her a thumbsup just cuz I’m getting pissed off by the endless sparring.

The Parents’ Seminar explained that soccer boils down to simplicity, even at the pro level. A friend who practices judo explained there is nothing more competitive than punching another guy in the face. A lot more real than calling your own fouls in Ultimate. G has probably swallowed more elbows in 2 years than I did in 20. But she’s given 2000% more. I totally get how confusing it is to run hard when nobody passes if they don’t know your name, how stupid it is to bang bodies if the sideline might or might not be 5 feet away; I have hit the hard ground in AZ thousands  of times.  I get how easy it is to play when everything is set up for success, how rarely that happens, how hard it is to play in a dust storm. What made me good was to tune out everything but the disc in the dust storm. I know what G needs.

At the Parents’ Seminar it was humbling to realize what i’d been doing wrong, but inspiring to see how easy it was to fix. My job is to get G to practice in a good mood, to show her support on the sideline, to get her home happy. Let the coaches do the rest. Tune out everything but the disc. I’m psyched the coach who told me this will be one of hers this season.

Now instead of talking about what she did wrong, i talk about the fun she had, and whittle, and expose all the everything else in the dust storm she needs to tune out. Why do you play? Did you make friends today? What did you learn? Are you stoked? Why do you play? How much fun did you have? Why do you play? Tune out the dust storm, tinyHuman.

I feel her trusting me more everyday. About soccer, school, the computer, behavior, us. Our conversations are so easy. Genevieve is my favorite person in the whole wide world.

Rule #1: Kill someone!

It started out much more nuanced.  It started out: dont get nervous, have fun playing, sing a song.

G: Dafuck you mean, Dad?
ME: just play, have fun, just play ball, i donut know why kids donut pass and sidelines flexible and keeping scores are no bodys, in traffic, you know how i hate on the traffic.
G: Dafuck you mean, Dad?
ME: When you are lost, have fun! find the ball and GET it.
G: What?
ME: you are stronger than most girls, blow a play up.
G: What?
ME: KILL!! i have FunDip!

Distillation.

G’s is remarkable in space and flow, where fancy dribbling means less. Stronger and stouter than most kids, faster first step than most kids, ready for contact more than most kids. She reminds me of Ricky Williams, Steven Jackson, Anquan Boldin, but with a limpdicked shot. At tourneys she dominates the ‘attempts‘ stat, with a few trickled-in goals to show.

We are screwing around together before practice, having fun, and she is almost taking my head off. I never knew to hit your laces, i thought it was the side of the foot. And it is, for passing and control, but not for shooting. Somewhere in the 2 months since I’ve been nagging G to not strike with her toe she learned to use her laces, and I fell behind.

The very first time she nearly took my head off and I nagged her to not use her toe she swore she was doing it right, started crying, and i wondered what I had done so wrong? I acknowledged my failure in the face of empirical data, we asked not only Coach Angie but also Coach Robyn, and I sincerely apologized to G for my mistake. When is the first time you knew you knew more than your parents?  Mine was somewhere in my teens. G is so much better for doing it 9 yeas earlier. The difference between me and mine is I was good with it. I even explained it to Beckie, cuz I know G finds validation in public divulgence.

We warmed up together before the next practice, and i nearly took her head off.

Rule #2: Sing a song to yourself

This one, she alleged, was easy. But a coupla weeks later i asked her what she sang, but she said she never did and didn’t actually know her psych song.

What? WHAT!  This is worse than a vegan dragged to a team-building lunch at a Brazilian grill!

You cant have a psych song if you don’t know your psych song!!

I played her some of mine. Phunk Junkeez sounded old to her. She backtracked, she just doesn’t like rap. She liked the Offspring, really she did. I took a hint and blasted Katy Perry. Its very catchy, after playing it over and over I sang it to myself dropping GreenieMillie.  She asked to wear her red practice uni even when she didn’t have to, cause she’d rather fit in. I totally get that, I hear her roar.

We were singing on the way to tryouts. They were really a formality, she would make one of the Blackhawks teams, and that was all that mattered.

I want you all tattooed I want you bad
Complicated X- rated I want you bad
I mean it I need it I want you bad

This isn’t inappropriate, I asked at least 7 little girls if they understood ‘double entendre’ and not a one of em raised their hands. Its a littleGirl Paen.

Greenie Millie

aka ‘The Lemmon Drop’.
Finally!!!  after a snowed-out attempt 2 years ago, after 4 yrs covetting!

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technically, the Lemmon Drop includes a few more miles higher up Mt. Lemmon in Tucson, but nearly 5000 vf elevation delta was good enough according to James. Since he’s morphed into a dirt roadie and climbed Catalina Highway many times, this is validation aplenty for me.

YES LEMMON DROP!!!!!!

7000 vf descending, 2.5 climbing, 4.5 hrs moving over 7 hrs, no blood for either of us, one bonk, and one clusterfuck attempt to fix a sliced tire. Hors and gnar to keep us balanced.

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so verklempt to be wearing kneepads, fresh off his AZT 300 attempt

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I am so hard I  shall ride 20 of the hardest downhill miles in AZ, with only cookies for sustenance!

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for about the first time ever we’ve ridden together, I had the SLR. I owe a lot of profile pics!

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VSLF: Shouldn’t he be wearing pads more often?
Me: that depends
VSLF: on?
Me: on how conservatively you ride
VSLF: he’s a wuss
Me: he’s training for distance, on a 29er, he’s core
VSLF: he’s a wuss
Me: its complicated
VSLF: he’s a wuss

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Pro tip: if you slice a tire, just put in a tube.

Don’t pump it up and hope the sealant works, several times. Don’t put in more sealant, don’t jam in a plug, don’t beg with an old patched spare, don’t do a rain dance of doubt and remorse. You will reek of ammonia and latex and old sex that’s been in your camelback for 2 years. Sealant moneyshotting out my sliced tire, santorum so noxious James smelled me 2 switchbacks above.  Roasting  for an hour at 1pm on a west-facing ridgeline, while i flailed fixing my flat in the midst of a beatdown ride. James was sanguine, staring down 2 more hours of gnar and heat. He lobbed me a new 29er tire and set off downclimbing Molino Basin, a mop-boy in a filipino sex-room, sponging up my shame.

you can catch VD just looking

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I took an extra minute before finally slinking off, to get my mind in a happy place. Molino has been in my head since I flew off an intimidating slot 6 yrs ago, and i would not let tired and hot and frustrated and rancid distract me after working all day to get here. I rolled it, fuck yeah i rolled it all, and hit the waterfall with a tiny dab. Porntastic.

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There was still an hour more of burly nobs and jagged slag.

How to convey just how awesome  and scabrous is this ride? All these rugged isolated views mean 50% of the climbing is straight-up HAB, the trail is narrow and  gnarly and maintainance is just a few helper rocks, the opportunities to crash go on for hours, and if the snow doesn’t get you at the top the sun at the bottom will.

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Chihuly in the Garden

This was a really cool display at the Desert Botanical Garden. There are many better pics out there…SLR with no tripod or big lens came up short. But these are still fun to me, I like especially the differences in some with and without flash.

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this plant was real. I rrrrrrrrrrrrreally want to get back to the DBG in daylight now.

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Srsly??

WTF? this is why I won’t get a new car til the Monsters are full-grown

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Illiteracy == Quality Parenting

An ironic statement, given Scottsdale Unified School District’s budget cuts will lead to half-day Hump Day all next year and drive many of us to Charter schools. But so true a statement! Reading takes sooooooo much time. One of my all-time most favorite pleasures in life is to read a book and get drunk on the beach, but i am a far better tinyFather if i don’t bother.

We did a lot of riding, swimming, eating, building fences out of zombie-killing plants, and suburban hooliganism. I read about 40 pages of a trashy novel, and that was too much time out of our busy schedule of aggressive relaxing.

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we love baby horse!

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donut know if it was the Spring high tide pushing the fish into the shore, or mating season, but the pelicans went off all weekend long

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closeups were impossible, every time i moved in they drifted out. I tried and failed for 3 hours…

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the pelican attack breaks down like this: drive into the wind, lean back so the wind inverts and pushes you down, all the while never taking your eyes off the target

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This is Cookie. He and his sister Mittens have been playing us since last summerI love you touch me. I hate you go away. I love you and i hate and love your touch. go away and touch me. i am a cat.

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After they devoured 2lbs of shrimp tails, we left them with a quart of milk a bag of catfood and a promise we will bring them home if they last til Memorial Day.

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easter egg

girls are good at math
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how long til she notices?

as long as it takes
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Favors Fortune Boldly

Happy Easter!!

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Atheistic holiday co-option is ok with me if there are happy girls and reese’s cups

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let’s build something together, slowly, need shower and coffay

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the Chollaballs decided that crayons and our fingers and dipping sauces are more exciting than stickers and premade decorations.  We even tried lemon juice from our prolific tree.  The pulp left the shell nasty, but it made photoshop-quality textures along with a natural yellow-straw tint.

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glitter glue. we called him Liberace

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dino egg

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Alana thought this looked like me

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Beckie and I were bored of egg hunts in the back yard, these kids are too spoiled and too hard. So we gave her 5 mins head start, then the kids rode their bikes to the high school lot. Chasing the rabbit. Sounds easy, but a 100 x 100 yard search grid says otherwise.

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see it, me neither, ‘lana does

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this went well

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a short candy break, then after the rabbit again!

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teenyTinyShredder earning it

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freerange egghunt

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the chocolate melted, the jelly beans did not, Beckie sped home. G pushed her bike out of the wash around a fence, towards Westworld. Said she’d meet us back at the water fountain. tinyShredder is not so tiny any more.

Alana kept speed downgrade to ride over the kibble, back up the MUP, spotting her sister about when I was ready to panic.

Fun Dip is a good lunch, right? Still had energy for this and a trip to the pool

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