Last Year: “We can all share the office. It will be great for collaborating on family business, homework, and sharing the monitors. I’ve been working in open offices forever.”

Yesterday: “We’re starting a new game called Zoom Room Thunderdome. If you’re the first one on a video call, you can keep turning your volume up louder and louder, and turn on the garbage disposal, or throw a coffee mug, or sic the dog on the other horrible person until they get the f**k out of your zoom room!”

This is how Rome fell.

Bad office etiquette is now the norm with my co-irkers. I was lying in bed on a 2 hr work call, Beckie walked in wearing no pants. I said “HEY PANTSLESS! That attire is not professional!” and she was creating a hostile work environment. She didn’t reply, she was on her own call. She then hung up the laundry. So many HR violations.

I’m going to microwave salmon and broccoli, and eat it at my desk while i squirt soy packets.