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- Nothing Too Ethnic: No Becticia. No LaJason, DeJason, or D’Jason. No Shaniqua. No Ruth. No Esther. No Mary, Mary Margaret, Mary Catherine. No Chastity. No Virginia. No Salama.
- Nothing Pretentious and Hackneyed Masquerading as Unique: No Maya. No Isabella. No Zoe. No Mercedes. No Siena. No Margarita. No Jade.
- Nothing Too Britney: No Britney. No Amber. No Ashley. No Megan. No Taylor.
- Nothing Too WhiteBread: No Ann. No Kathy. No Jane. No Sue.
- Nothing Too White: No Sarah. No Emma. No Emily. No Lauren
- Nothing Too Redneck: No Kerry Ann. No Bobbie Ann. No Bobbie Jean. No Jennie Ann. No Kerry Sue. No Bobbie Sue. No Bobbie Jo. No Kerry Jean.
- Nothing Confusing Around the Holidays: No Beckie. No Deb. No Cecile. No Bette. Nothing with a G. No Moira. No Brooke. No Kila, or Turtle.
- Nothing that Rhymes with Anything Teasable: No Celeste. No Bree. No Brit. No Delores.
- Nothing Flagged by Stephen Levitt: No Jasmine, under any spelling. No Brandy, under any spelling.
- Nothing Reminiscent of Household Items, or Sarah Palin: No Truck. No Jenson. No BBQ. No Bianchi.
- Nothing Suggestive of a Thrown Dart in the Delivery Room: No Sealy. No Ivory. No Canon. No Jansport. No NorthFace. No Raintree. No Aquafresh.
- Nothing That Ends Up on Mind of Mencia: No Usnavy. No Toprameneesha. No Shi-thead.
- Nothing Overly Literary: No Desdemona. No Ophelia. No Hester. No Offred. No Pi.
- Nothing For Treehuggers: No Rain. No Sun. No Moon. No Wildflower. No Honeysuckle. No Surfspray. No Prius.
- Nothing Strippers Use OnStage: No Destiny. No Heaven. No Misty. No Crystal. No Jugsalinda.