Sleeping = aggressively herding lethargic cows

Resting = aggressively herding lazy cows

Nibbling on  hands = ensuring you are still fresh

Chasing the cat = warding off predators

Stealing food from the table = leftover donuts in the conference room

Jumping over the couch = attentiveness to your every move

Wigglebutt = I luuuuuuuurrrrrrrvvvvveeeee you this much!

Peeing constantly = properly hydrated

Spooning in bed = spooning in bed

Farting in bed = it was —->Beckie *dognod**dogstare*

Farting in bed =  whatever, i tooted, dgaf

Dashing off down the street = pre-emptive surveillance

Laying under the AC vent = protecting my family, as my right as a ‘murican

The Stare = the depths of my soul are laid out before you, do you have any bacon?

Doesn’t Like Water = I choose not to run, Jerry