I have this neighbor who I mostly don’t know but kinda don’t like but see about once a year on Halloween so I’ve kept it friendly. Couple weeks ago Kila was walking with Beckie and G to the mailbox, she barks at him, he has a snit, Beckie and he exchange words. A week later she tells me, I take the high road over to his house and apologize and acknowledge his anger and generally suck his cock for 10 minutes til he seems happy, swallowing my pride for the broader goal of not shitting where I eat.
Today the grumpy old douchebag threatens to call the cops on our new neighbors about their kids playing in a toy buggy in the street. The dog thing…its stupid and un-neighborly when he’s lived across the street from Kila for 4 years…but I get it, no one likes a dog barking at them. But whining about the kids, in the culd-de-sac, in this cute pink buggy that they ride in with G like a toddler’s version of the old Go-Go’s video for Our Lips Are Sealed, when 3 of the 6 houses have kids involved in this playfest, and the other 2 have older children? I hope he does calls the cops, so they can come laugh in his face, and give them a history of his stupidity when he finally does call them on Kila. A whole new level of asshole.
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This week some of us Hawes locals have been organizing a trail work day and signage to stop some of the sanitation of our trail. Sanitation is just an evil way of dumbing down the trail to your level of self-esteem supplements, but Hawes is just not that hard! Its challenging, and hard for a beginner, it was hard for me back in the day, its a good blue, its a beautiful trail that you can make as hard as you want to be fast and smooth, its a trail you can ride with anyone where everyone can have their level of fun.
The mudflaps on Mudflaps have been cut out.
It took me a couple years til I could regularly clean that hill, and it was never a gimme, and i still spin out on it sometimes. Now not one of the 10+ waterbars lacks a go-around. Some of this is just a result of traffic, but actually destroying the obstacles that keep the trail from blowing up into a sandy gully? Maadjurguer also posted about a boulder…a 300lb boulder…that was pried out of the trail making it double its width from 2 to 4 feet, probably cause some moron clipped his pedal on it and decided the rock was too dangerous, never mind the rider lacking skills or control. I just can’t fathom what experience these people are seeking? Riding Holbert and Pass Mtn so well this past week has been a resounding confirmation that I have taken it up a notch. Its felt like my debutante ball, I’ve been glowing so much that I drove across town to do a barely 1-hr ride with Helimech, PoiBoi and Alex down Hairball at Dreamy Draw just to keep on this wave of bottomless-feeling backwards lean and comfort in committing to rolling through gnar. I missed on all 5 of the really notable nasty challenges – not my best ride – but gave em all good tries and came away unbloodied, and still felt great about my progress. I understand workouts and hill repeats, I understand wanting to spin and not worry, I understand cruiser runs…Phoenix has miles of canals, our system has flat trails, and there are plenty of bike lanes on safe roads. But sports are about challenges, about pushing yourself, why else would you want to climb a mountain?
Pic of Yuri’s Folly on Hairball, linked from Dale (Epicrider)
The destruction to Hawes has snowballed in the past year. Its hard not to look at all the noobs on Hawes — with their kickstands and their spider trails that avoid hard spots and their bellies flopping over lycra shorts while they slosh around in toe clips — and not point a finger. Its harder to imagine the arrogance of someone who obviously is a bad rider thinking they should be changing the trail? It is only a small minority, but I hate that I have this suspicion oozing off me, surely giving off an elitist vibe to people as excited about the sport and their day outside as I am, and just as entitled to the trail. These sanitizers are ruining the trail, and ruining the karma, all because they don’t want to better themselves. A whole new level of asshole.
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I have 2 friends who had an ugly falling-out. I’ve got my opinion about where blame lies, but have stayed out of it. One of them was supposed to drop the other’s cell phone and assorted things off at my house. A week went by, almost 2, emails, phone calls, promises…all this to make a trip 3 minutes across the neighborhood for someone they say they regretted losing…yet nothing. I called and left a message hey can I swing by your place to pick up the stuff? As fate would have it, they lost their phone too, and a nice man called me saying “you were the last call into this phone, it must be your friend’s, will you come pick it up?” I do, and head to work.
They also got a message from the nice man on their other line, figure out I have their phone, and suddenly have time to dash over to my house with the other’s things, then drive all the way to my office pronto to pick up their phone. Why the rush? Well in their own words: cause they thought I would read their text messages, cause that is what they spent 2 weeks doing with the other person’s phone. Are we back in high school, your superficiality and bullshit certainly is no more sophisticated? Sorry but I’m just not that interested in your notes, I know all I need by seeing how you handled this little dose of destiny. A whole new level of asshole.
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Neighbor, stranger, friend: what a disappointing day. It reminds me of that story about the man who walks into the bar every 5 minutes and orders a shot of tequila, until after 30 minutes the bartender says buddy why are you coming in here every 5 minutes and buying a shot of tequila? The man says to the bartender, tonight I had my first blow job. And the bartender says, well congratulations can I buy you a round? And the guy says nah, if 5 shots wouldn’t get the taste out of my mouth a 6th won’t do any good.
And it makes the ride so much better. Another skill like rolling over jagged rocks. I’ve gotten comfortable enough with myself and my persona that I volunteered to become a Phoenix Park Steward – I figure if people see a well-behaved rider, they ought to know that rider is sorta official. The times I give directions or advice are good karma put back into the world, the off-chance that the map and extra water bottle I carry saves a life restores my faith in optimism, the occasional abuse I get from someone wronged by another biker…I can carry that weight. I can acknowledge their problem and apologize on someone else’s behalf, I too want to know so the bikers can police themselves. Mostly I want to be a nice guy so i can keep my flow and people realize a coil fork and pads don’t make you Darth Vader…want to hear why i won’t launch a jump because I can’t afford to break a wrist for needing to care for my infant?
i did make him promise we would go with different color-schemes so we wouldn’t be stupid twinsies. Upgrading some parts and selling some others would leave me with a sweet kit out-the-door for $2500, and a frame that cost me only $500 but was realistically a solid 1k. How wrong could I go, when I also made a few hundies in value on the kit? I don’ think I can go that bad, like a mail-order Russian bride with a great photo, a soft mouth, and a sweet disposition.
