The Squealer and Gumbar Rally on the same day!

Is such a day stuffed full of so much silliness possible?

Would 4 hours sleep be enough to survive?

Would 19 hours of non-stop activity leave me bed-ridden with exhaustion?

The answer was yes to all of the above.

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Up and 4:45 to get FIP at 5:45 and make the 30 minute trek to the start atop the Ridgeline trail, with a few minutes to relax prior to my 6:36 start time.   I was number 47 this year, better than last year’s 22 based on my last 2:20 finish.   Hard to believe the first rider launched before 6am in the early morning rain.

No plates this year, just a sticker for my fork leg, as Jim was keeping things more underground

riders collecting slowly prior to their TT starts one every minute

bright new jersey looks good in the rain

The hike-a-bike up to the top of Ridgeline should have clued me right in to how crappy I was feeling after barely sleeping all week (but wrapping up 4 months worth of projects yay!!!),   and how heavy the Heckler was to carry.   Maybe I should train for hike-a-biking?   I’ve got a huge bruise on my left bicep from resting the seat on it while I shlepped the bike up mountains.

The wheels could not climb anything as it was all slick and the tread was encrusted in sand, I was off my bike within 30 seconds on a short technical rockface.   Great, and where everyone sitting at the launching pad could see too .   I’ve never ridden Ridgeline, but the initial descent was a quick technical wake-up call to start the race.   It was fun to start on a downhill, and one that had some consequences for starting sleepy.

The course headed up Mormon this year, to avoid being so noticeable on National, and it was for the best as I would have been pushing up everything.   As it was, I pushed all of Widowmaker and practically every hard trial til above the Waterfall.   I was pissed at myself for being such a sandbagger on a trail where I can get nearly everything, but there was no point in fighting the sour stomach, achey back and the moisture.   In this race, there is no glory in making something – its all about speed, and that means sometimes walking is just as fast as riding, and if it keeps your legs from going anaerobic its a better strategy.   But it sucks for the ego.

The stretch from BV to Telegraph was fun, and the Heckler shredded.   A lot of riders talked about how sketchy the slickness made them feel, but I actually felt great through this decent.   Surprising, cause I’m not that fast a descender.   I made it to Telegraph in 1:07, same as last year.   My goal this year was 2 hrs, not sure if it was realistic, but it gave me something to shoot for.

That inspiration lasted about 200 yards into the big hike out of Telegraph Pass.   Every time I do this, I wonder why the hell I’m riding the west side of National?   The ridgeline is nice and the view is great, but its hard on a big bike after the hike and the hour and half of sustained effort.   Being tired and poor traction just made it seem longer.   Still, I was not getting passed.   Other than my buddy Zort who started 2 minutes behind me and passed me at about 1 hr, I only got caught by a few guys on the hike.   My time was good, but when we pulled off to find our Easter Eggs I realized I was not going to make 2 hrs.   The eggs were stashed in the same place as 2 years ago, up a short but hard 100 foot ascent.   It took just about 10 minutes round trip, maybe a little less but I also took the time off the bike to stash my foggy glasses and secure my kneepads for the final descent. Those extra 2 minutes wound up costing me about 5 spots.   Stupid vision!   Stupid safety!

At least the ride from here to the finish was mostly fast and downhill. I ripped the ridgeline as fast as I could, conscious to pass a few slower riders prior to the big nasty descent.   The scree face was surprisingly tame, packed in with the water and 40 or so prior riders.   I rolled down it without any worries, so easy I wasn’t sure I was even past it until I entered the final canyon leading off the mountain.   It too went fast and easy, and from there I felt the finish and hammered as hard as I could til the end, passing a couple riders in the last mile.   Typically this race finishes a mile across the road at the San Juan gate, but Jim redirected the finish to a big wash a little bit up the Bajada trail to stay out of sight.   Bajada is XC, but a total ass-kicker as its all rocks and there is no rolling to it.   I was bracing for a 10 minutes of pain, but blew through the finish chute to find the awaiting Bunnies in only about a minute.   Sexy fishnet stockings look good in any weather.

I might have shaved a minute or 2 going harder on the ridgeline if I knew there was nothing to save for Bajada, but like every year, by the time it was over I was just happy to be done.   My time was 2:10, off my goal but still 10 minutes better than last year! Probably no faster, but no mechanicals this year to slow me down.   I finished 40th overall out of about 80 riders, like every endurance race I am right in the middle of the pack.   It seems very average, I am stout and sturdy but hardly fast, except when you realize that this pack consists of people who think a coast-to-coast race across National is a fun idea…somewhat of a self-selecting crowd.   Since I didn’t really try to climb anything hard, and the descents felt very easy, I’m thinking the Hei Hei for next year might be a better choice.   The section into Telegraph and the 2 miles dropping off National might go a bit slower, but the lighter bike should more than make up for it on the traverses and hike-a-bikes where you really lose time down a black hole.   The Heckler is good for the hardest of moves, but I think I’m finally capable enough on gnar that I can dial back my bike a little and still be ok in many situations, especially when I know the trail.   Tomorrow I am taking the Hei Hei out on Pass Mountain, my 100th? ride on that trail, so it should put this theory to the test.

Kathleen and me at the finish

a soggy finish line

Usually everyone chills for about an hour waiting for the final riders to arrive before heading to the party, and in preparation I brought a couple beers and a bag of snacks.   I opened a beer (its only 9am), but the cold and wet that hadn’t bothered me while moving for the last 3 hours began to feel really really awful.   Kathleen, Doug, Zort and I began the long ride back to our cars – a 10 mile, dismal slog on the roads.     I left them at the park entrance to pick up my Park Steward kit, then opened my second beer to take the edge off   the final 30 minute spin.   The irony of drinking a beer after completing an unsanctioned race was not lost on me as I stuffed my new capilene Steward jersey into my pack and a fat chocolate chip cookie in my mouth.     I just put my head down and spun til I got back to my car at Chongoman’s house near the old office.   Then to the party to exchange war stories with Doug, Zort, DG, Lynette, Yuri, Juan and many other friends and acquaintances, found out that the difficulty climbing affected everyone, had a beer, got a nice bottle of chain lube from Jim for my efforts, but unfortunately had to bolt prior to the awards to get home in time for…

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…the Gumbar Rally

My dear friend Al Taylor does this insane scavenger hunt every 2 or 3 years.   I was a defending champ from 3 years ago, so was really looking forward to this year.   Beckie would also be competing, and we got Sam to baby sit for us AND to come pick us up so we could partake liberally.   Gumbar rules clearly stipulated a drink needed to be had in each bar visited.

Pauline, JT, me, Kevin and Amber after our victory in ’06

I turned around from the house almost as soon as I got my bike unloaded from The Squealer.   We made it to Al’s late but with just enough time to grab a drink, say hey to the many Ultimate folks I hadn’t seen in a few years, and say this a bunch of times: “2, 2 months old, riding a lot, I miss it every single day but I enjoy walking more.”   and I gushed to Kathi about Squealer, who enjoyed hearing the stories and then promptly chose to forget everything I said .

My team this year was X-Ray, Jill Mayer, and P. Norton Brown’s new girl Mary.   A quick meeting of the minds then off we went to a bowling alley in central Mesa.   In typical Al-fashion, we had 20 minutes to complete a game, which was scored on a number of criteria including high\low, gutterballs, and strikes.   I suck at bowling, and have absolutely no idea how we did in this challenge.

Our next challenge sent us to The Tavern on Mill Ave, but by way of the Light Rail.   We did not pick up on this Light Rail clue, like pretty much every team but Beckie’s since she’s all plugged into the local guberments, and arrived at the bar prior to our judges.   That was our clue that we blew it.   Whatever…it was cool, we drank.

Beckie’s team on the Light Rail: Kathi, Tim, Autumn, with Al along to judge. She had the camera, hence no pics from me

Our challenge at the bar was to complete a 2-sided puzzle.   The first side had a picture of A Mtn, the second a picture of The Library (another bar on Mill).   We then set off up A Mtn with the goal of capturing a couple of pics that were in our clue sheet.

mandatory photo location on A Mtn

Unfortunately the climb, knee ailments (not mine), and varying desires to embrace the drizzle began to put a damper on our team chemistry.   Its funny that it took til another event with Ultimate players to get a reminder on the importance of team spirit.   I can’t pinpoint why our team did not click – everyone got along, and Ray is one of my best friends.   No clear leader or happy blend of personalities? We had a good group, but no one like the fabulous JT or Kathi to really propel our team towards new realms of silliness.   For my part, I was feeling kinda tired after a couple drinks and the morning ride, and the predominance of mental challenges inside bars compared to the past event’s more physical activities with roving bonus challenges (and sunny weather) made the event flow a little differently and underscored my fatigue.   We had a little frustration over blowing our first challenge too.     And definitely could have used more creativity with our photos.   For whatever reason, our team just did not quite gel, and while we had fun, we didn’t have the kind of stoopid fun as 3 years ago or that Beckie’s team had.

Its funny how the same personas that make a great Gumbar team contribute to how people get drafted in VOTS leagues every year – some people are just awesome karma and make teams better. Usually I’m one of those guys, so I’m sticking with my story of being tired.

Coming down from A Mtn, we headed up Mill to the Library.   Why it is called that, when most of the waitresses don’t look like they have every read a book, is a mystery.

Here we were presented with a loooong list of line items in about 4 pt type requesting information such as the number of draft beers offered, the times for Happy Hour, the price of vodka, etc.   Around item 20 on the list was the declarative statement: “The only question you need to answer is the number of TVs.” 34. Except around item 35 was the next clue – double that number.   Our team failed again to get the answer within our time period, then got our next clue sending us back down the Light Rail to the Urban Campfire (the bar we should have hit several challenges ago).

We waitied about 25 minutes in the drizzle for the Light Rail, an experience which pretty much guaranteed none of us will ever be taking it again.   The challenge at this bar was to add up the total of every possible item on the menu.   I actually could have done this pretty easily fresh and sober, modeling it like an algorithm rather than using straight math, but by now I was really tired and cold and a little hungover and mostly wanted to get back to Al’s to sit on the couch and drink heavily.

We made it back to Al’s about 7:30, picture show ensued to much heckling.   I felt kinda disconnected from all this since I didn’t have a camera and no one on our team who did took many photos.   But these were pretty damn funny!

Sam came to get us about 9, and again I missed the awards ceremony.   I was asleep on my feet taking a very agitated dog out to the park.

It was a totally cool day, and awesome to get to do these events with 2 little kids, and see so many friends in both circles. But in retrospect I think I should have picked one or the other, and enjoyed that event to the fullest instead of cutting corners on both of them.   Less would have been more.   Beckie got to have a great time, which was cool.     Perhaps she will add on to this post.

Thanks Jim and Al for an amazing day!