Easter 2011

Let me preface by thanking and praising both Monsters for a 0 Meltdown Day. In fact, a 0 Meltdown Weekend, even with all the goings-ons. Such temptation, such fortitude — you make me love you so much more when you are not high-maintenance prima donna J-los   I will further extol their virtues on having no epic cleaning catastrophes.   Alana set that bar high last week with some nail polish.

Hooray! The Easter Bunny!

What, no chocolate bunnies?
no joke – i’m aghast at her sense of entitlement

Most eggs miraculously survived Alanazilla’s clutches, and ended up only mildly brutalized in a vat of dye. Hangover-rattling bouts of smacking her paws away saved the bulk of the dye from disaster. When she complained that her eye was stinging and her hands were dirty, Beckie and I laughed and laughed.

there were some rides and some bouncy-houses and time on the porch.

dinner worked out well too. acorn squash stuffed with apples, raisins, onions and syrup. butternut squash, onions, peppers, and chorizo. artichoke.

chorizo when used judiciously, is the Rosetta Stone. As omnipotent as mayonnaise or peanut butter or alfredo sauce.

Things I Learned at Pump Track

Photos are from Yuri.   Thanks bud, that ride was too much fun. 5 minutes from the end we hit a 30 yard long jersey barrier. Yuri nailed it end-to-end. I’d never seen it, and got squirmy 5 yards from the end so manualed off – first time I ever went kinda big on a manual when i had no other options, and landed it.

and one of Alex. I dunno how this pic unfolded with light and translucence, but it captures the moment. Alex blew my mind a few months ago cleaning this nastiness on his first-ever try.

7 Bikes in 7 Days

Monday – Rage PT, and dog-walk on the Malice. I am finally learning how to manual, and dropping curbs on 1 wheel.

Tuesday – hour on the trainer while i sat on a conference call, then the Blur and the trailer to pick the kids up from school. We rode home via the Library and Westworld.

As I packed my ‘Go Box’ for Wednesday at Papago Pit on the Heckler, it dawned on me that with a completely holistic effort, I could pull off the clean sweep.   If eating shit on a steep drop to steep tranny didn’t mess me up.

Thursday, the Hei Hei and   I helped Yuri, Gordon, John and Alex plant a Tequila Tree. Excellent times were had, and I cleaned the move that gnarled my finger up almost a year ago. Some very fun pics on Yuri’s blog.

Friday I was going to commute, but a necessary visit to the client site for Project Firebird put the kibbosh on those plans. No Masi, but I made a C-note for an hour and a half.

Saturday I got up early and took the roadie out to the peak of Happy Valley Road. In the hazy overcast morning was the shimmer from the Superstitions 50 miles away, Tom’s Thumb from the other side, and a panorama across the whole north and southeast Valley.   I feel summer approaching, and a curiosity to get out that way at 5:30am with a camera and a gps.

All the Chollaballs then again joined the THNR crew for a trip downtown for the San Tan Wheelie Jam, a fun silly excuse to ride bikes and drink beer.   We had a nice group of parents and kids rolling from Yuri’s house.   And I rode the Masi – check!

navigating metro Phoenix

pre-parade

G was stoked to be in a parade. Unfortunately, her first ride in heavy traffic and a big pack shook her. We stopped half-way through so she could check out the parrots in a tropical bird shop we spotted. Sometimes we all miss Jo, in theory. Completing the course by ourselves, G tipped the odometer into her most mileage in a day, eventually ending at 10 miles and almost 1.5 hrs saddle time.

Snacks and facepainting were the rewards

why are you so tired?

mmm…San Tan Beer Garden

back at Yuri’s for bbq and shenanigans

seriously…what are the odds of getting 3 little girls to look and smile at the same time while swinging?

hard to believe, but i only have about 7 hrs saddle time so far this week.

what’s more important: front brakes or butt cream?

Seems like a simple question with almost 9k descending over 60 miles, but 7 hours in, with my ass screaming from the world’s worst case of monkeybutt every time I stood or sat , the answer was no longer clear. With no remedy in sight, I grinded my butt into the seat so the pain would fade quickly.   I had a wonderful giant tub of shammy-butter in the car, but blew past it when 10 minutes before the start i heard a zzzzzzzzzzzzzing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing from my front rotor as it rubbed against the limp, bent clip holding apart the pockmarked brake pads.   The day before, I discovered a stuck piston from my Hayes brakes, and with no time to get to the shop or repair and test it myself, i swapped an old front Juicy from the Blur. It worked great in the bikestand the night before!

15 minutes of frantic work by James and I didn’t really help.

I DIDNT WORK AND WORKOUT AND JUGGLE SCHEDULES ALL WEEK LONG TO GET UP TO PRESCOTT AND BAIL IN THE PARKING LOT!!!

So, fuck it, we set out about 10 minutes after the pack, and I repeatedly squeezed the brake lever and wondered if the hydraulic pressure would normalize and give me some stopping power before the spring scored a line in the rotor or got shaved off and dropped the brake pads in the dirt. If it happened, i’d turn back. but not before.

We quickly caught the back of the pack in the Dells. A lot of riders hated having this uber techy stretch in the race, and if I didn’t know what to expect or was a lycra-wearing xc weenie I’d have agreed, but I couldn’t have thought of a better way to start. There is no ‘Best of Prescott‘ ride without the Dells, and the 29er rolled all the wheel-swallowing, suspension-squatting ruts far better than the Heckler. I couldn’t do any BIG moves, but with the goal being to move fast and take a bite out of the long day, dialing into my bike and my body geometry and the rocks right in front of me eased the tension of my wonky brakes from my mind. I still had to squeeze the lever about 6 times before every little descent for the first 30 minutes, but passing people who would gobble me up on the long climbs made me happy.

We had a line of about 10 riders exiting the Dells, unusual for me and an underground race where I am usually at the back, and it kept the pressure on me to keep pace.   Balancing the benefits of speed and navigational assistance vs. doubts over my own fitness was difficult, but as usual, my inner rah-rah guy won out and I went hard.   We worked through the Granite Basin area and then another 20-odd miles of climbs and descents through almost-alpine and high-desert.   I settled into a groove with my buddy Nardo and his (nee, my new) friend James.   They kept pushing my pace, I had a good gps, and good times were had. I bounced between my Quiet Place, my Tired Place and my Happy Place for about 4 hours. I’m fat, out-of-shape, and kids making me spend way too much time on the trainer or the bike trailer or the pump track. But my 20-year base, a week of healthy choices, and smart riding kept me going reasonably strong. I never cracked, just a few little fissures and a couple times i simply gave up climbing to push for awhile. 9:15, and mid-pack – a result I had no expectations of achieving, which tells me once again I am a perennial sandbagger, a gross underestimator, or just stoopid lucky. The takeaway for me is relief that my kids have not made me a total fat sack of crap just yet.

I don’t remember a lot of specifics from the middle 5 hours, other than an incredible whoopdee descent into Granite Basin, and rolling Mint Wash.   The rest was an ebb and flow of weakness and resolve, gravity and thrust, and self-shuttling. The course gave constant payoffs for each in the unending series of climbs. We hit the 2nd water stop at just about 2pm, an hour ahead of my cautious cut-off point, and on pace to do 9 hrs. A proper deuce, a party hat, a protein drink, a dunk under the cool spigot and fresh sunscreen charged me out and up Trail 396.   Its a beautiful mild undulating climb, and teamed with the water stop to inspire me to ~ mile 45, when fatigue and the course’s Boss Round took over – 2 miles and 1000 vf up Spruce Mountain Road.   At the time, I thought Spruce Mtn Road could be upto 5 miles and 2k, and about .25 mile in you hit a demoralizing pitched curve filled with golf-ball gravel. I pushed up and cross ref’d my gps’ elevation total with my watch. 100 vf in .10 mile, 50 vf the next .1 mile over 2 minutes, and so on. I tried to flashback to the climb to the Wasatch Trail in Telluride, knowing i slayed it in an hour, knowing this would not be that bad.   Nardo and I overshot the turn onto Smith Ravine trail by about 150 awful soul-killing yards.

Smith Ravine was the beginning of the end. 10 miles of mostly-dh.   It was fun, but i was riding tired, and didn’t get it as good as i can.   Dialing it back was an easy decision, i had nothing to prove at this point in the ride. I was going to finish in respectable shape and all the way from the Dells through the tight switchbacks and banked turns and wheel-grabbers I’d been moving the bike well. Pump track and jumping skills crossing over. Not anything too dramatic, but 3 seconds from leaning on the front wheel instead of scrubbing speed in a turn, 2 seconds and 2 fewer cranks pumping over rocks, grabbing air and acceleration still at mile 55.   Hours spent lately on the bike that don’t work my legs or fit into my mileage log, but tire me and beat me, to push through an infuriatingly low artificial ceiling. It requires finesse along the z-axis to overcome.   I’m so far from good, the first time i got air under both wheels hitting the big tabletop at Rage PT I nearly skated off the next turn i was so far from in control. 2 days later I ate shit on a steep drop to steep tranny at the Papago Pit, but I’m going back this week.   Tomorrow I am riding roadie.

The last 7 miles on 305 took longer than it should, too many road crossings draining 2 minutes and 20 cal of energy each. My (new) goal of 9 hrs was slipping away. The intra-stream goal-establishment wasn’t as much a challenge as a necessary adaptation. Out of my foggy memories of long stretches of trail, I remember looking at the gps and thinking ‘just keep pushing til 6:50‘.   Then nearly puking, and thinking ‘just keep pushing til 6:47‘.   I don’t do well dialing down to microcosms of suffering, i lose my will in the details. I need to see the big picture. Back before the first water stop i checked my split, and picked a target. Even after the sluggishness of the Dells I could get an 8-9 hr finish. I was not puking, and Nardo was pacing me in exchange for navigation, so i clutched and floated at that slightly-unsweet spot until gravity finally brought me home.

Not a total fat sack of crap just yet.

baby touch

Alana is willful.

Seriously obnoxiously willful.

She runs from her seat to the driver’s seat of the car, and then back when i open the driver’s door to seize her. She slurps Spic&Span in a moment’s notice, then gripes and grouses when i tell her to drop it or be ready to hurl. At first she gave me a dire, wounded face; now she won’t even look me in the eye, just runs away shrieking in either victory or defeat. You say yes, i say no, you say stop…   Battles with G were over stamina, not fortitude. Not so with Podford. Excuse me, I’d like an argument. the terrible twos.

Everything else about Alana is soft, tender, mushy and delicate. A doughy toasty squeeze on 2 fingers, a gentle migration of snuggle and warmth knocking against me before waking. She still feels so light i barely notice at all. I grab at whatever and slosh it along with my laptop and groceries and beer.

I see her on the jungle gym, hints of a washboard underlying babyfat, strangely-strong arms hanging 10 seconds against gravity with ease, blue-eyed smile staring in my face, pedals pumping 200 yards at a time. But she can’t swing her arm or kick her leg enough to budge Kila. G comes at either of us and we cover our faces and run, Alana is a thin beat of a branch against the window in the wind.

Not for long.

There is this knot in her center, a density, gravitational core to the baby.   It gets bigger every day, more and more   armful, just a little harder to haul. She gets stronger every day, hauling the rock hither and tharn. She speaks in sentences, 1 at a time, and another. She asks and answers and asks, goes and chases and does because that’s what’s to do.   She is growing up so fast, her body catching up to all her teachers. Her mind hopping from one tutor to the next, propelled by tireless legs. I think she will become amazing, i quiver and tremble and tingle imagining another beautiful blossoming little girl. I’m watching a moonrise, a desert flower go from bud to bloom in a week, a pool go from crystal clear to green with algae. She’s like honey, fights when she’s surly, so soft its sweet.

X-Games 2024

G started asking about the rock wall at the gym a week  before her bday.   at 5+2 days she got her bonus present.   It would be fun, i was equally excited.   Her first time out she really sucked, but she got better every time up the wall.     Within a few runs she figured out to lean into the wall and not the harness, to move 1 limb at a time, to plan the move.   I tried to help her, but wtf do i know about climbing?   We hit it 3 times in the first week, and each session showed improvements – learning a little about her gear, what rope she liked, patiently waiting her turn. By then she knew as much about climbing as me.   A few weeks and half dozen sessions later, i see her ebbs and flows, when she is upbeat and when she wants to cruise. I have no plan for her, jut to coach the moments to help her succeed or have fun at whatever she is up for that day.   Usually it works, and when it doesn’t, I climb a line or let her play on the rope til she’s ready to go again or go home. Yesterday at the park i talked her up a puzzle moving 1 limb at a time just like on the wall, and another little tick-tock forwarded in her brain.

The week after she started climbing, we went to the pump track for the first time. I had the day off, took the girls out of school to the zoo, Lolo’s for chicken and waffles (G remembered from 6 months ago), then to Rage. I told her it was a party, and she loves parties, and i brought both their bikes jic.   The best and most unfeigned thing about my kids is if they see something cool happening, they want in!   But the PT is a complicated scene for little girls. No real reason as to when someone goes shooting around the track, when its clear, and why she can’t stop wherever the hell she pleases. Its a friendly scene, and dudes were gracious. By her second lap the lot full of shredders was cheering on the little blond riot gurl.   She ate shit heading into the sand in the inside of a bermed turn, and next time and almost every time after figured out how to get on the wall and rip.   She was fearless going up and down lips, and taking the dropin 7 feet down to carry her over the 4 ft tabletop. The only time she got off her bike was when she crashed.   This is mostly how it went the next couple trips to the track, non-stop, dauntless, elated. She got pissed when i came home late and told her i took the Malice to the track. She got pissed when she saw it on my rack dropping her off for school. She got psyched when i came home from the Fishbowl and reported on kid-friendly hours and small rhythm rollers.

The next week, she tried skiing for the first time. The sequencing was wonderful, and eerie, like i was scripting her reality show, programming her to be a deep cover assassin.   But dodging bullets in slow-mo is not on my Outlook cal for next week, soooooo my conscience is clear.

Child Services Rep: Sir, were you exposing your child to danger?
Me:   She wanted to, she was pretty good.
Child Services Rep: gnarness is no excuse for bad parenting.
Me: I gave her pads.

Skiing was equally awesome. Her progress seemed glacial to us, but not to her, and she rode the wave until she crashed.

Day 2 was better, and Day 3 she got on and off the lift and completed a green run. Conflicted all weekend about not being with her, while getting shooed away by the Squaw Kids staff, and tugged by our own repressed love of boarding, we were thrilled and relieved. She is a bit above average — which was cool — and got to taste the mountain to end her trip, which was the capstone on our foot of fresh on Day 3.

token pic

awesome pic!

Contract Proposal for the Arabian Library

I spent about 30 hours this week turning the Mesa house over for new renters. It hurt, seriously anal-rape hurt, lower-back missing workouts hurt, sawdust and diatomaceous earth in my pores and gravel and drywall turdlings from the ceiling under my fingernails hurt. We pocketed a nice chunk and didn’t miss a month of income.

This same week a little QA contract I have been nudging into place finally kicked off.   Plying my skeelz for myowndamnself.   I’m psyched about the tax write-off potential, and a new challenge, drawing inspiration from a weekend snowboarding with a college bud who’s been banging away in Silicon Valley for 15 years.   I made in the morning almost enough to cover the new dishwasher the old house needed, more-than-enough if you include the sick day i took from work. The cell phone was ringing from 4 different masters once you add in Beckie. The dishwasher repairman asked me when i walked in: how much do you like this dishwasher?

I wonder at the cost of my free time, my investments, my income stream, and any sweet spot along the calculus curve of comfort and value and happiness and sunsets and beautiful children. Planning and endowments, risk aversion and fidelity, adult responsibilities.

I am tentatively calling my contract job ‘Snowboard Telluride.’   Or, ‘Firebird‘.   I haven’t decided.   Its a fun decision to make. Beckie just did a little contract job last weekend, a brain-for-hire, pecking away on her laptop while I drove us to Rocky Point. I was calling that ‘PT Bike‘, hoping she wouldn’t figure it out til she saw the credit card bill. She was a step ahead of me, and thought the Malice would be a nice birthday gift for me and the girls, while treating herself to patio furniture.

Are we conditioned to work hard, harder than needed?   Or are we still on the curve, maximizing our utility while our skills are most relevant?   I can not tell the difference, i’m so programmed, so settled into pushing the rock. I hope its the later, i’m not sure.

Last week Alana crashed the entire checkout system at the Library, in 15 seconds.   None of my apology, my professional qualifications, nor my assertion that their supplier should not leave a master switch exposed at perfect toddler arm-level shook the librarian’s mousy posture. I was actually quite amused, relishing the power in the opening for my expertise, after G’s delays gave Alana an opening. If your barcode reader is good enough to identify the book and author and serial number, why does it report a bad swipe? If your system can be brought to its knees by a 2-yr old, you have a serious bug.

Earlier, a kindly old snarky Library volunteer informed us how the girls’ squeals were carrying.   Why do you build a magical children’s discovery room, with puppets and blocks and magnets and puzzles, encourage kids to develop a love of reading, and separate it from the main reading room by only partition walls?

i am living by the sword.

The Hunt for Tequila Tree

Maad had this kooky kool idea, as he often does.

I had a bunch of trips to NE Mesa with the rental house turning over, and vowed to hit Hawes looking for it! Its weird to need an incentive to ride Hawes, but more it was an incentive to not let shitty-rental-house-fixathon get me down.     Psychedelic sunsets would be my reward for fiscal responsibility. I launched at 6:30 on Tuesday after 5.5 hours of chores, and probed Twisted Sister out and back through sundown to scope the right launch point for the Treasure Map.

I deconstructed the poem for clues, sentence-diagramming and interpretive poetry, knew every roll in the trail, and almost as many in Maad’s deviant plotting.    I was so confident I would find it, the hour i spent poking up and past and back over it in the dark seemed like foreplay. I was 99% to it in 10 minutes, so apache am i. But I still rolled home   empty-handed, hauling the fifth of El Jimedor I intended to offer the gods. What was the phrase…99% doesn’t get a space shuttle to the moon?

James joined me on Friday, under strict instructions to keep his thing-sayer from saying things. I had a plan, some serious Blofeld shiz, ready to Brothers Bloom him back on his azz.   Unbeknownst, I brought the only beers on a beer ride. I could search to my content, and horde all the beer, til he caved under the pressure of information for barley.

My brilliant plan failed.

The instant we set off on foot, he countered with a woeful ‘I’m thirsty‘.   My paternal instinct and temperament towards bons temps rouler took over. DAMMIT! I’m such a stoopid friendly drunk!

So I searched more, I scoped, and referenced, and triangulated through the desert.   No-handed, calculations in one fist and a brewski in the other, i picked up and down the rocky hillside. James trailed me round, asking for more beer, and sighing like a woman. Telling him that struck a nerve, and my new plan turned to loosening his tongue with pints and nagging.

I found it.

When i was struck by certainty, i reached out for it like Indiana Jones.   I will claim .49% of the last 1%, the rest I was given in hot\cold clues. James needed to spill his secret, I preyed on that weakness, and thirst, and riding in 98 degrees (not an April Fools joke). Sun Tzu advised choosing your battleground, or deception, or being feared safer than being loved. I don’t remember, Tequila Tree warms all hearts in hazy glow.

a humble offering