The emerging technology from the company is almost entirely coming out of our LA office, a fundamental post-merger power shift that has me simultaneously looking over my shoulder and 3 steps ahead, wondering if I have a future or will just play out the string til my products are sunsetted. They offered me a team of 8 and an entire product family if I relocated. Likely my last chance at genuine advancement within the company. Ironic. I’ve been passed over in Phx for the very same badassness that that they want in LA, that built the internet. Even after 15 years in the field i still question what getting ahead is all about.
I had two goals for the trip: recruit some allies who would help me transition to the new products along with a few other Phx lost boys, and perform due diligence on the idea of relocating. The rest was easy and fun – exchange ideas and build bridges with teammates I’ve worked closely but remotely with for years, eat Brazilian food and sushi, and enjoy the ocean climate.
The LA office is located along the Hollywood Walk of Stars, across from Grauman’s Chinese Theater.
Its an interesting neighborhood, for about 5 minutes. But I am not amused by people-watching, panhandlers in costumes, urban personalities in de rigueur clothes making statements, and slack-jawed tourists gawking at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. They just clog up the sidewalk and slow the commute.
100% authentic. Really. G and Alana would approve. They had Mako and Robert Urich fer crissakes?
I hustled out of work at 6:30 to the Roosevelt Hotel. Its beautiful and dolled-up and superfluous. Pure LA. I could not find the main desk, or anything that even looked like a desk, after 10 minutes walking up and down Hollywood Blvd looking for the front door. I asked directions from a 6 foot rail-thin model\hostess at one of the hotel’s chic restaurants. I think it was a restaurant, I smelled food and heard dishes, but didn’t see anything that looked like food or any surface that looked suitable for plateware. I think the hostess got all her calories olfactorily. Surreal is talking to stunning women at their day jobs – they give me 100% more common courtesty than I’d get outside of work, and I return the favor by thanking them politely and not being misogynistic while the power-structure is shifted. Finally I found my room, which made me feel as awkward as the hostess. I do not know how to handle fashion, or luxurious things, nor do I particularly want to. Give me great gear, good weather, functional amenities, fast computers, strong plotlines, hearty sustenance with mass quantities and I am happy. Everything else makes me nervous about spilling.
I turned down drinks with some new acquaintances at the office to hike down the street to Runyon Canyon State Park for sunset, to see if LA offered the things that really matter to me. Rugged coastal hills shot 500 feet skyward, cool ambiance diffused off lush vegetation. It was a hard grunt jogging to the top, like hiking Camelback or Wind Cave, but like those easily-accessible bite-sized hikes, hard to feel accomplishment when its also crawling with locals walking poodles or shuffling along in flip-flops.
G lent me Steggi to keep me company, the Hollywood sign far in the background
Lush succulents grew 5 feet high, unheard of by desert standards.
Bob Seger running through the soundtrack in my mind
I made my way down the Hollywood Hills in twilight, the glow of the city lights providing enough to navigate, then walked for awhile to soak in the freakshow. Waking at 5am to fly, a need for solitude, and convenient sushi takeout led me back to the hotel to unwind and sleep for once without getting head-butted by children.
It was not that easy.
There was some kind of Hollywood party in the pool area under my 2nd floor balcony, consisting of models in swimsuits standing in tubs of water filled with rose petals while people took notes and poked them. Every few minutes one of the models would yell like they scored a touchdown. Sometimes others joined, sometimes they did not. Getting into and out of my room I had to go under a velvet rope, for the first and probably last time ever. I squeezed by one woman wearing an evening gown and trailing a cameraman, she was a cross between Grace Jones and Elizabeth Banks, human color tones that should not coexist in meatspace. Her enormous bodyguard lumbered over too late to block me and my miso soup, and thrust his half-muscled half-fat arm between us as I slid by. If I’d meant any harm, either his arm would be broken or he’d have a knife in his core that he left wide open. Big and slow has disadvantages vs small and fast. Like everyone else at the party, he was all about appearances.
LA is beautiful and fascinating, in the same way as any famous city is, where every street name is recognizable. My coworkers are immune to the distractions – we ate lunch at In & Out Burger on Friday – much like my buddies and I take in stride the giant saguaros and rattlesnakes and desert flowers and rock formations on National. Familiarity and contempt would come quickly if I moved, leaving me crowded and claustrophobic, overpaying for rent and dying slowly every day in my car.
They say they are giving me the new product, which is an accomplishment of sorts. Perhaps it will be enough, perhaps some upcoming interviews will open opportunities. I know I have at least one more rung up the ladder within me. Finding clarity amidst the celluloid and illusions, and a few genuine connections, was worth the plane ride.
