Month: September 2011

Rancho 7

/ chollaball / 2 Comments

Rancho 6 was a mulligan, Alex’s re-decorating year. Hard to believe its been 2 years; hard to believe its been 7 years.

Just me and James were able to make it, and we three made a tight little ManClan.   Alex’s riding is so much like mine that he easily fit with James. James is so much faster than us and likes fiddling with his fancy camera. I made salad.

Friday was Highline in Sedona. My pics suck, the ride was so good i spent no time with setup or light. Kinda pointless anyway when Maad has his fancy glass and makes me look like a rockstar.

My 3rd time on Highline and the DH has totally slowed down, which makes it even cooler to now reflect on just how intense is the 5-minute unbroken string of challenges.   Steep roller, steep slot, steep chunky staircase, 10 nasty switchbacks.

It was too hot for late September, over 90. Buddha Beach was wonderful.

despite James refusing all weekend to smile cause it hurts his CORE-ness.

After a night of Rancho shenanigans, Saturday was going to be a big day. Schultz->Little Gnarly->Jedi->AZT all the way to Aspen Corner. 30 miles and about 4.5 hrs spinning.

It took us almost 2 hrs from Jedi to our stopping point along the AZT. By the end I was cracking, but the rest stop was worth it. Slack bike, flat pedals, and almost 9k altitude made the long climb hurt. The new stretch of AZT is absolutely fantastic; bermed and benched and armored in all the right places.   I let it hang out on the 5 mile descent as The Bird got payback for all the suffering on the climb.

Steaks and shots back at Rancho

James’ fork seals blew up at the very end of our ride on Saturday, and Alex found out he needed to leave much earlier than anticipated. So we opted for a sweet little hike Sunday morning to end the weekend.

Wandering Aimlessly in Mumbai

/ chollaball / 2 Comments

I’ve been mainlining tribal knowledge and frameworks and fiddlesticks, manuals and webinars and walk-thrus, 14 hrs to verify simple UI bugs that rely on six degrees of specialization, an isolated self-worthless humiliating thrash for oxygen and relevance. I’ve watched both my daughters born, and it looks better than this. Two months ago I had my hands on the shorthairs of millions of dollars of e-commerce, and today I am learning to raise my head. I will come out the other side, in another month or 2. Breathe Chollaball, you’ve done this before. I REFUSE TO DROWN!

Its not water i’m drowning in, its vampire blood. There’s no going back, at least til the 5 yr sabbatical. I see upside down processes that only make sense given their evolution, code knots so daunting bodies are thrown at them in human waves. I’m hardly the first smart guy to spot these problems, but every life has a narrative that led to its present; companies are no different. Preternatural vision will come soon, when my body finishes dying. I   the free cafe for stress eating, and after what we will call ‘the Paypal 10‘, I will stop binging on peanut butter&apple jacks samiches, and make it a healthy diet. There is a shower, and i can tuck my bike next to my cube. Its close enough to give hugs, but not so close that it crowds me off the bed. I think I will commute on the Bird, as a conversation starter, and since riding the Greenbelt on a 6.5 inch bike is CORE!

I digress…     For 1.5 yrs i had a draft post called ‘Low Level Noise‘, bitching about suburban Scottsdale. It stewed while i acclimated and pondered and was busy trying to balance, then fizzled until all i could hate were the too-important people spending $8k on botox instead of driving lessons, death to pedestrians coming between them and their texts. My buddy Aaron offered a far better and faster summation than my 18 months of reconciling: ‘Scottsdale is a great place for families and kids, but its full of wankers.’

After interminable overthinking, i believe the lesson is best explained thusly:

CRASH: Guy hit the shit outta that one, eh?
NUKE: Well, I held it like an egg.
CRASH: An’ he scrambled the son of a bitch. Having fun yet?
NUKE: I’m having a blast. God, that sucker teed off on it just like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball.
CRASH He did know.
NUKE: How?
CRASH: I told him.
CRASH SMILES — Drops the mask, returns behind the plate.
NUKE SIGHS — Takes a deep breath.
NUKE: Don’t think. Just throw. Don’t think. Just throw.

The last 24 was a good day at work – I solved stuff and white boxxed. Each little win a mortgage payment on an appreciation, buying time or treading water, letting the game come to me, the first time hooking up 3 turns snowboarding, learning to ride a bike. 8 weeks later, I got my first W. All during a week of single-dadding where i’ve miraculously managed to not unload on my kids.

Tomorrow i am going to be dragging. Hooray for bagel day. Who figured a predominantly Indian company would so reliably order my favorite salmon-flavored shmear?

Someday you will ask: Where was I at the inception of the N Scottsdale Slightly All Mountain Thr Night Suburban Terrorist ShredFest

/ chollaball / 1 Comment

4 rides, 4 wrecks. All of em climbing.

$4000 and another grand in swapped parts — i really wanted to lurrrrrrrrrrvve it.

I’ve got painful dingers on both elbows, right butt cheek, left ass crack, and right wrist. The Bird is beating the crap outta me.   Yesterday i flopped over backwards doing a manual, much to the delight of the assembled masses.

The Bird’s taller fork, shorter stem, and slacker geo all make climbing harder. The DW link performs better under strain, vs. the Heckler’s single pivot which took the punch then eased into a rebound.   I need to recalibrate, pull my weight up on my feet and over obstacles, frequency-sync to the suspension’s shorter wavelengths.

Maad and I climbed a couple hundred feet above the Valley, then lazily took in the aurora of the megalopolis, Summer finally revealing a hint of weakness in a gentle breeze. A little positive feedback for an easier climb than going up National while its 105. The Bird and I needed some quiet moments together.

Paradise Wash is a new trail on a 6.5inch bike. Deflections, wheel grabbers, and precise steering ignored in favor of gravity’s pull on a squishy stable platform.   The closest I’ve gotten on a bike to snowboarding through trees. 8:28 – fastest time in 50 tries. It almost completely muted the pain of the falls.

I rolled into the Hill Park and launched a 5 stepper in the dark, didn’t see the bottom til i hit it.   Without letting the wheels stop rolling I dropped the rockface next to the curvy slide and then the steep boulder into the sand pit that I’ve been eyeing for 1.5 years on every trip to the park.   These trials do not lend themselves to bike trailers. Then we ran from Security, slaloming down suburban streets through the non-light-polluting glow of McMansions.

Stay tuned while I polish the route and come up with a diversion for the security guard.

My New Bar

/ chollaball / 2 Comments

For $13 i rolled the dice with an internet p2p streaming provider, telecasting Slingbox and iPhone ports of NFL games. From out of the country.   Black market.

I would gladly buy a service from the nfl, but not for the ass-raping of DirectTV and Sunday ticket. The   horse   has left the barn and if the NFL won’t take the money a market’s dynamic pricing will give them, they willl lose $13 to the black market.   I must admit when at 9:46 the link for the Ealges stream was still not published i was about to spin over to The Temple. Then i had to figure out the right buffering, and if it was the stream or the pipe when i got so many timeouts on my laptop upstairs.

I’m willing to concede some inconvenience, like moving the trainer downstairs.  

But the office has a much better monitor and sound system, typing is awful, reinforcing tersity in my stream of blather. What the picture lacks in clarity, or even not tiling, it makes up for in sound.   Id rather watch a shitty picture with sound and burn calories and sorta hang out with the family, then spend $35 and stare across a room in silence, interrupted only by the yammering from Bears and Cardinals fans.

I’m pretty sure with some hookups we could actually put this on our big screen, but combining the workout makes it a masterpieces of multitasking and ocd fandom.