Some meddling kids and their dog worked all summer on a connecting segment that ties together Westworld TH and Gateway in the Lower McDs. Its built onto an unmaintained-yet-marked system trail and some social trails that had fallen into disrepair. We’ve been using it for a dog-walk route for years; and now its flat(ish), beginner(minus the rocks) trail my kids can grow on.
It wiggles and squirms, dodging the nearest creosote or boulder. It dashes through stupid, stoopid lines trying to go up going up, pouncing on 5 yards of hardpack and a short shot onto high ground before recycling the tinyEffort and shooting down again into rocky washes. We followed Dia with a chalk line.
G has ridden it uphill a few times, not without whining through the ugliest parts. I’m doing my best. Its DirtbagDad’s rock to push uphill, or maybe my bright shiny object to stay sane. But I’ve got company.
oh hey, so, as you know, i’m a herdy dog. Would you mind keeping that mcleod away from me as I stay glued to you? Is this bothering you, cause I’m sensing some frustration? that’s an awesome handsaw – cut cut cut! Let’s build something together!
When we don’t ride Dingo, or the golf course, we ride to Tequila Tree. Dia digs it now, loving the long mild climb and the rushing downhill, so many runs removed from her PTSD first-ride-back in March. She has it paced, goes off the front to slow me down, cheers for me to fail since the few dabs lead to water breaks. We sit at the tree and hear rattlesnakes gushing out like a puncture in a tire; after a minute dreading a flat we realize the bike is unhearable 100yds away, and as the sheering sound slows to a tick-tick-tick it raises new concerns. We defilade a little downhill, keep drinking. The towers at Somo are cloudy but the silhouettes of Camelback all the way to the White Tanks are clear. The Sprawl corners at the junction of Paradise & Levee trails, where the ambient grey glow from the city just…*pow*…stops. Sometimes we wedge against the edge of a storm for an entire ride.
pic courtesy of Kathleen Kingma
I needed a new weapon in the war for trail supremacy.
A nasty grabby palo verde got its comeuppance, lines were cleaned, and G rode Dingo a little better the next time.
We’ve been riding trail 2x/week, sometimes with a great team of kids and adults. Lots of good folks heading out for a Friday night Phoenix Mountain Preserve ride.
G was overcome with upgradeits, and I can’t blame her when some of those kids were riding $4,000 Pivots. We bought her a pair of PI X-Alps and set her up her up on clipless pedals. I installed the cleats but she set the tension, took the flat pedals off and put the new spds on, and made it a few times around the block practicing clipping in and out while wearing every piece of protective gear she owns.
The next night we got some saddle time at Reach 11. G with new spds, ‘lana with a new jersey that magnificently allowed her to carry her own water while looking fabulous. Both helped her have some more autonomy and ride a little stronger, I can definitely appreciate that. bout 6 miles in the dark, from the Scottsdale Rd entrance in Reach 11 to the lake near Tatum. G ate shit standing still near the end of the ride, after much complaining about wearing pads and how easy clipless were, and me subsequently guaranteeing her she would eat shit at least once for no good reason and to quit whining about her pads. hehehehe, safe crashes and proof of my omniscience always put a smile on my face.
G agreed to ride her first race in early October, so we pre-rode the course at McDowell Mountain Preserve with the kids’ team. Alana had so much fun she did some singletrack on her own.
TinyShredder and 11 miles of dirt-roadieing across Reach 11. Its like a ThNR! We came on a pack of javelinas, a flock of geese, an owl, and a rattlesnake stretched across the trail. G got the hook for night riding now.
I have a love-hate relationship with the Aquatic Center. Awesome facilities vs shitty hours and SOOOOO many rules. The high-school lifeguards adhere religiously to the squashing of all possible fun, disciplinarian youth and Godwin’s Law collide in sunburned subburbed space. Their tepid, bleating enforcement is more grating than the actual persecution, even my kids mock their apathy.
Along with our summer pass, Alana and I developed an understanding: she could get away with whatever she could get away with, as long as she didn’t drag me into it.
Dad! They should let me jump owf the high boawd. I jumped owf a cwiff.
so true.
What at first seemed rigid monolithic enforcement of the rules upon further glance became huge gaping holes in security. $3.90 on Ebay made 46.75 inches = 48 for the next 3 months.
Le Fluffing Me: How old are you sweetie? Alana: 7 Me: How did you get that wristband? Alana: The people up front measured me Me: Is that your dad? Alana: I’ve never seen that man before in my life
And like good pre-Millennials, they go slack jawed and wave them on, lacking the fortitude or commitment to confront the 6yo by cutting off her illicit wristband.
James:would you maybe want to dogsit while we are on our honeymoon? Me:*ears perk up* James: Cause I know you are between jobs and whatnot…*dingdong*… Oh my, you got here fast.
2 weeks in Flag to start a Phx summer! 3 chollaballs, 3 dogs, and a cat: James and Staci had no idea what they unleashed!
Its my garage now, i even peed behind the old palette.
The instant they left for the airport on Friday we took Dia for a couple laps around Buffalo Park. G picked it up, slung it around and dropped it without skipping a pedal stroke. Alana whined, complained, and had a meltdown on the 1-&-only short climb. This became her flagstafrican baseline.
Saturday was 7 miles, 75 min, shuttle down the AZT-Dogfood-Schultz. I locked Alana’s bike halfway down the ride where the AZT meets Dogfood. We 2-biked there from Weathorford trail at mid-mountain, and then she did the rest. Slowly, timidly, badly, building on last night’s frustrations, walking too much. I thought at times we should just leave her bike by the trail and never let her try anything but dance classes again.
G was skeered over this trial, after Alana tormented her with how traumatized she still felt from me riding her over it 2 years ago. I swallowed my frustrations for her seemingly innate genius at remembering every excuse to hold herself back. Fortunately a spotter was all G needed to try it, then she jumped off the front for the rest of the descent. This was her flagstafrican baseline.
G did so well we decided to do Schultz o&b right from the house the next morning. The climb had a lot of rests, encouragements, hummingbird and woodpecker viewing breaks, and chances for Dia to wade in the creek. We had no deadline, lots of apples, and silently agreed to dig in for her longest sustained climb. Telling Mom became her motivation. She nailed the DH, resting to take advice between each pitch, and patiently let me take my shots at the boulder drop halfway down. Best.Riding.Partner.Evah!
That evening we did 10 miles into town and back on the FUTS for dinner. tinyShredder rolled it easy, and mostly so did ‘lana! Her longest ride yet!
We stopped at The Ditch to play. G hitting her first-ever lip
and stacking it up! At least soft dirt doesn’t hurt.
Alana crossing Rio De Flag
No one told us Hops on Birch was, like, a bar. They had 1 bottle of rootbeer, 1 juice box, and some stale pretzels for the kids, but the beer selection was awesome.
Alana’s mood on the bike changes course like a gnat, on the ride home her flagstafricanism was trending up.
Monday we went to the Adventure Course at Ft. Tuthill. They got 3 laps on the kids course, and had it mastered by the end. To where I didn’t want to take them back for fear their overconfidence would get them hurt. I can’t wait til I finally get a chance to hit the adult course.
The new Ft Tuthill Bike Park is, literally, next to the adventure course. Making Ft. Tuthill the happiest place on earth! Except G wrecked, badly, on her 4th run. The track was fast, narrower than we’re used to, and the trees messed with our heads. She carried too much speed into a jump and overcompensated in the ensuing turn, ripping a 5 inch raspberry down her buttcheek.
She walked off the course, gritted, let me wash it, while a couple boys gawked at the girl-who-totally-ate-shit-but-didn’t-cry out of the corners of their eyes. She even did 2-3 more slow runs, for pride. But our day was done, except for trips to CVS and Safeway for many variations of gauze, tape, and ice cream. Fortunately, I brought my tub of aquaphor with us, on a hunch.
Every time I know one of my kids is going to scar, i wish i could take it onto my unwanted skin instead. I’d look like a WarBoy from Fury Road. Removing all that pain and scabbing from them would make it worth so much more to me. But some lessons can’t be learned any other way. G knew she went too fast too soon, fucked it up deep down where you balance your bike and your skill and your confidence, and daily applications of goo are hopefully the intellectual repetition of the lessons learned from pain. Slow down, don’t overcook the turn. Her flagstafricanism was trending up.
Tuesday we slept late, had a nice breakfast with more ice cream, and I overjoyed hiking with them on one of my very favorite bike loops up Little Gnarly and down Jedi.
We saw one-and-only other person on Jedi, a rider who dropped in silently behind us coming through an Aspen meadow, just before the logramp-to-boulder trial above the switchbacks. He cleaned it while the girls cheered.
I’ve never gotten this one, but will be so much more psyched to walk it heretofore
That night Dia and Grahammay got a trip to the dogpark, and the girls more ice cream and hamburger for their owwies.
Wednesday G was feeling better and we found some self-adhesive softwrap, so did the AZT from 418 to Bismark Lake. Alana and I had a deal, she would ride her bike for a mile before 2-biking, and get more ice cream. I lied about the GPS enough to get her to do 1.5.
climb little girl, climb!
unlocking for the 1.5mile descent
After a burrito power-up we went 3rd time into the Lava Tube. I had 8, er, 7 functioning lights, a pint of water, a 1-hit, an orange, and 2 ravenous Monsters. I feel bad, a little, for the people they overtook and dropped. I love being around the stoke they have for this hike, even if i hit my head and roll an ankle each time trying to keep up!
Thursday I hooked up to ride with my bud Rockman. His awesome daughters kept the girls occupied for a few hours.
We climbed Schultz Creek, Climb 3, then Hobbit Forest to drop into Wasabi. Solid climb and best run ever down one of my white whales. I was visualizing it all night before, and it worked! My flagstafricanism was trending up. Thanks Joe for the ego pics!
Roadwork is being done on Elden Lookout Rd, and a couple drivers stopped to watch us roll out of Upper Wasabi. Double punch on the mancard!
Thorpe Park has a disc golf course. Using soccer balls was a fabulous idea that wound up sucking, badly, in a mountain town. So it became a kicky dogwalk in the woods.
Friday was a taper(nee, hungover) day. We drove up Friedlein Prairie road to hike Overlook, and then up to the Wilderness Boundary. Haven’t been here in a few years, such an engaging trail that is always changing due to treefall. I’ve never gone slow enough or looked up from the rocks and logs to really soak it in, and its a gorgeous airy forest with meadows at 8,000+ feet. Going to have to hit it this fall to see the aspen and avoid the crowds. Can’t wait to show it to Beckie.
this is a tasty apple.
Heard you got another apple?!
camouflage
ironic that Alana snapped this photo. I was showing G the series of moves through this section, explaining how to break them down, and how I crashed and dented my frame on my 2nd-ever ride on the Heckler 8yrs ago. This seemed really hard back then, now its just another rock garden.
Saturday the planets aligned! Beckie came up, and the AES Aspen Asphyxiation had been rescheduled to this weekend. Sometimes I am glad for her arrival, sometimes not. We got this 3-sum going on, and sometimes mom storms on in and fucks it all up. I had 8.25 hrs, 7kvf and 52 miles to vanish and get everyone’s head right, they got their own 3-sum going on without me being around to screw it up. I tweaked the race route to let me hit just about everything on Mt Elden I hadn’t already gotten this week. I left from the house, climbed Rocky Ridge to Lower Brookbank and desceneded Jedi just as the really fast guys were coming up, aggressively jumping all the drops after walking them earlier in the week. The monster storm the night before made Sunset unbelievably tacky, and the stoke from that screaming descent carried me almost up to Snowbowl Road. Almost. Ray made the route awesome by adding in Twisted Sister, and awful by adding in GT trail. Pushing my bike up this stupid, primitive scratch in the volcano I yelled out ‘Fuck you Ray you fucking douchebag‘. The ensuing 3 mile climb up Snowbowl Rd was so deadlegged that, after comparing times, I actually rode it slower than Beckie ran it in a race 2 years ago. There was 3-4 more hours riding, but most of it flowed far better, and after dipping into my PainCave finally I was done. It wouldn’t be an AES race if I didn’t kinda hate it.
Sunday I was feeling good but lazy, and meat-sweating from a fantastic dinner at Satchmo’s. Our recovery day started with a 4×4 crawl through the Cinders.
Then re-walking some of the fun, tight techy stuff from the end of yesterday’s ride, along Fat Man’s Loop on the far east of Elden.
Then the day went suddenly, utterly and deeply to shit. The huge downpour on Friday night flooded my truck’s cylinders, turning into a $500 repair on Monday.
Dia lost a tooth wrestling Graham.
and our attempt to salvage the day and ride into town for dinner quickly resulted in Beckie gauging her ankle on a chain ring, and 5 stitches at the ER.
The massive upside of all this calamity is Beckie stayed in town another night for what was our very best day of the trip. At Coco Bike park, everything started slowing down, for all of us.
The first time on the Blue line i spotted G, reminded her that you can’t can’t can’t bail out once you are in the ramp, trust that you will get through it. And after she got the feel, we kept reminding each other to trust it and go bigger!
both wheels in the air!
go Alaaaaaaannnaaaaaa!
girls are getting the attack position
whereas G has perfected a scowl, Alana believes strongly in smiling for the photo. I approve of this adaptation!
i wasn’t quite cleaning the blue line, but i was getting closer each run. G and I both were getting used to the lips on the jumps. Next time!
never know what you will get with the AlanaCam
Griffith’s Spring afterward to release the heundz!
DiaBlahBlah
Our final attempt on the FUTS into town went much better. I used this opportunity to promote upgrading the HeiHei to a 1x drivetrain, and forever prevent this from happening again. Alana crushed it on the way in, and gutted it out on the way home. Never figured her for a 2-ride day, until today. Her flagstafricanism is definitely trending up.
the start of 2 months of Daddy Daycare while celebrating the end of school at Rage Cycles. Alana was charging the dropin on her 20″ but i was too busy spotting her to take pics, so proud of my girls. Rage is a hard track, and i still squirm a little every time riding in the big berm. Dia peed a little, I wont say where, it helps pack in the dirt. Dinner at Two Brothers Brewing Co
First lost tooth, first busride home by herself, first ride to the library without whining, first chapter books. First day she might not be a soul-sucking parasite much longer.
First day homework is done with a snack just when sunsets become magical.
First day unemployed. First time seeing my six-pack in several years, a month of pre-unemployed dreamworks. First easy walk home from the grocery store with everyone’s pack heavy. First time sure i got Dadcamp covered.
Back before Xmas G had a friend sleepover. Together they discovered a gift for G that Alana hid under the bed. Instantly and thusly i was thrust into the gaping maw of sororital disaster, G bonding with her friend vs. destroying her sister.
If you appropriate a phrase for a post title, you will see an uptick in site hits, which i do not care about; I do it cause some phrases rock. Its a tribute band, not a cover band.
Ahem. Bros Before Hos – An Impromptu Performance.
I parent for gnarness. This is not a threat, its an opportunity. It should have been filmed, cause it is was some of my finest work.
I do Alana really well, how she swallows word ends and narrates to herself. How she spins without looking, swirling in her mewhere, spotting something at Sports Authority that she, they, everyone wanted. Twisting her want into a sisterly kiss, a tiny Xmas genius! Yesterday she asked me what I liked most about her and I said you are wicked smart.
can i give this to genevieve for xmas?
I tell G and her friend the story. Alana dragging it to the register, careening out the checkout line, stumbling out of the store. I bang into walls, and fall on the bed – Alana schlepping it through the front door. She charged down the stairs “Dad! whu if we hideit unda mah bed?” Alana carrying a sheet of plywood against her face, lurching up the stairs and wobbling down the hall.
The girls are captivated by the play written just for them. They swear to silence, to act surpised on xmas morning. I drop the mic. Moments i see perfection in all things, such a good day upon a good day to build this wax tower of better and better.
93 degrees means the kids learn to rest in the shade and inhale water. I thought we would barely be there an hour, but everyone kept rallying. Including me. My legs were dead and my knee was exploding after 6.5 hours and 50 miles through Brown’s Ranch and over Tom’s Thumb yesterday.
It made completing each sprint up to the dropins on my dirt-jumper so gratifying. I was hard once, and maybe just maybe i can be again. Climbs are fun! I felt looser each run, fatigue and heat melting the mountain of logistics and driving and coaching and assuaging 3 riders. “Have some fruit, strap on your pads, drink, take the high line, don’t cross the trail, commit, be careful.” The good days are redeemed by moments, repeating my friends’ advice to attack the jumps, get into the landing position, and trust.
tinyShredder was feeling it too.
pretty good pic for a 9 yo with an SLR.
As we were loading the car Alana finally asked to swap out her 16″ and ride her 20″, and spent another 30 min on the skills track before she hit the green line. Each indulgence buys off a future complaint, reminding her she’s done this before and we won’t condone unwarranted timidity.
On the drive home the kids were chattering and rambling, littleGirl war stories charged up on stoke. Great session for everyone!
Happy Birthday to my best little girls! You are always here with me.
For the math geeks: this is the one and only birthday where their ages and birthdays are mirror flipped! 69 dudes!!!
still very small
growing so fast
We have done bdays together, and back-to-back, but never multiple weekends. Don’t ever do it. Its a death march of caffeine and estrogen. There is planning, execution, followup, then the actual date, then another iteration. I think i caught diabetes.
is it cheesey to say how long i’ve known and how much i care for some of these other random kids? I kept the pics here to G and Lana, but it is so good to see all our other little kids having fun.
i got your name written here in a rose tattoo
dang its hard to get pics worth.a.shit of kids in the gym
then there were 2 more days of leftover cake and pizza, i peed gold, i tore my calf, i stayed up 4 nights in a row because my system had so many extra carbs. And then there was the actual birthday!
G’s party agenda went thusly:
LittleGirl PartyBus to watch G play soccer Soccer and DogRomping for 2 hrs, eating donuts and watching a proposal. PartyBus->pizza party presents art projects hot tub art projects hot tub pile in the truck, flashlight tag in the park for an hour, pile in the truck hot tub showers midnight cake hide and seek, more shit nonstop until 4am bikes and scooters down the street from 7:30-8:30 pancakes, bacon, strawberries and diet coke hot tub bouncy house bikes and scooters pass out
A lot of dog, girl, goodkidsawesumsauce.
an hour of art and tubbing, meta, art and gadgets.
what do you do when your kids and their friends start catting about a another kid? I don’t like some kids either, so how do you convey to them not to be mean without making your comments irrelevent about that shitty other kid?
Don’t be mean, you are not mean kids, even if what you say is right don’t be mean.
I dont think it will keep them from talkng about it, but it might make them reflect on themselves while they do.
There was an hour of running themselves retarded in the park with their flashlights, hottub and showers before midnight cake.
Things went roman terms during which i pseudo slept. i cant believe i had no alcohol. i stumble into the garage at 7:45 and they are all FIP asking Mr Alexander could you raise the seat on this bike? I wanted so badly to take a pic as 5 9yo’s found portage in my garage…I should get a medal for that.
WTF?! WTFF?!?! When this shit gonna end?
its nevah gon end
i aint so bad now, am i?
stop swiping me asshat
children suck!
the party has moved back to the hot tub for the 3rd time, no, 4th time. on to the bouncy house. great idea, thanks Beckie. taking a moment to myself to scream.
but wait, its Presidents’ Day Weekend! Sleep late, we all took Mommy to lunch, then spent MomMom and PopPop’s money. We appreciate the gift so much more when i can turn it into an Econ 101 lesson.
