Well its about time!!! No politics, no pork. Nothing for me to do cause there is nothing for the government to do. Subsidies for the Big 3 automakers – cut! DEA busts on homegrowers – cut! Corn price inflation for ethanol requirements – cut! Fannie Mac and Freddie Mae bailout – cut! AMT – cut! World policing – cut! cut! cut! cut! cut! cut! Power-to-weight standard for US cars – ok.
anyone want a cabinet post? now bring on the Lewinksys.
Indigo Joe’s had a great offseason innovation – little banners of the teams in the games showing hung under each TV. I saddled up to the bar and planted my ass in a stool with utter and complete confidence that I had the best seat to watch the Eagles, and next to the support pillar which gives me a buffer zone to use my laptop. I complimented the owner on his brilliant informational innovation, asked him if he change was approved at the annual owner’s meetings during the winter. He reminded me that I forgot my squawk box!!! I’m outta shape, its been a long offseason!!!
The bartender was knew and she knew little about football. I told her she only needed to learn a few key phrases, which she could place in key situations to increase her tips. But she’ll need to keep learning or by week 10 I’m gonna be wondering why she keeps telling my team to score a safety!
Moose Johnson has become a handsome ex-fullback. Who’dathunk that?
My new imaginary idealized fantasy team:
Smashtastic McNegratuid – MLB
Vince Testitasticlees – QB
Jarvis Jerius Jervicious Jones-Johnson – RB
Siete Ocho – OG
This video is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while. They nailed is so well. Thanks to bike=good (Mike) for the linky.
Hysterical article. I dated a screamer for a little while, and at first it was cool and I felt like a rockstar! Then all the “fuck me like a whore fuck me daddy fuck me fuck me” got to be a lot of pressure, and I became very self-conscious of the potency of my masterful member. But props to them for keeping that much passion for several years.
Another triumph for freedom courtesy of the Bush Administration! My favorite quote:
Congress approved the fencing in a 14-mile stretch from the Pacific Ocean in 1996 but the government faced stiff opposition over the westernmost piece. In 2004, the California Coastal Commission refused to grant permits, saying damage to sensitive habitats outweighed security benefits. In 2005, Chertoff overrode the commission’s objections – as well as a federal lawsuit by the Sierra Club – by exercising new powers to waive legal and regulatory challenges to get the fence built. He has since used that power to clear the way for hundreds of miles of fencing in California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas.
Some aphorisms from our trip to Greece in 1999, that I wrote down and just found the list while cleaning the house today. It is quite crumpled. I feel a lot like Earl Hickey
I decided i’m voting for Obama. This was not easy, Democrats make me uneasy, at least they used to. On a candidate-only basis, I would be pretty cool with either one of them. I am a centrist, and a libertarian, and both men seem decent in that regard.
The problem is, each candidate is of their party, and eventually will be pulled along with their party. The Democrats are investing in the marketing of divesting from Iraq and going green. The Republicans are investing in the marketing of Iraq and law and order. True or not, right or not, their courses are set, and the candidates will be pulled in their parties’ currents.
I had this exact unsettling feeling about Kerry in ’04, and he sunk himself with his “plans” for everything, playing into the Democratic stereotype of a big-government liberal that played right into the hands of Karl Rove. If I had to flip a coin, on principle, I would vote for McCain if his party was my only dilemma. but McCain has wedded himself to the war in Iraq, and that unfortunately would be his legacy if elected. This came to me brilliantly and clearly after an episode of “The Daily Show,” as many things do. It really is that simple: McCain will not walk away from this war. And I don’t care about how bad it might get if we leave, I believe it will be better no matter what if we leave. Its not just seeing healthy fit athletic 22 year old men with prosthetic legs at my gym that makes me say this. It is having read Machiavelli’s theories on hatred vs fear. It is watching this depression engulf our country, the job market desperate for talent while weeping over unemployed loan officers, Ford doggedly promoting the F150, the housing bubble that never should have been bursting with a debt long-overdue.
Any emotional unease with the Democrats vanishes when I think about how un-responsible and untenable the Republicans have made the economy. The war…duh!?!?! But they also passed the inherently porkish “stimulus” package and the stupid dodge-responsibilty homeowners’ bailout. Am I really worried about Democratic fiscal policy?
First things first.
At this moment, I have written exactly twice as many posts about G as I have about Biking.
I have no idea how to interpret that.
These are all true, or mostly true. Women are nuts.
i’m pretty sure i think about Ultimate every day, though I no longer have anything to do with it. Just happens. i don’t try to think about it, just happens. Reminders of places and people and things and feelings and smells, friends who are busy with a game next Tuesday, Byron sends me some scores, a t-shirts, discs. Addiction.
i got into a discussion the other day with a friend who is a casual player in Spring League, and he asked if i would change my mind about playing. i will change my mind about playing when i change my mind about walking, or when microfracture becomes easy and affordable. 
all that is left is the addiciton. 
He suggested I just go out and walk, and he is not the first. But that is not how i can play. Its not that I can’t go slow, I tried it, it sucked. I went 40%, and it was totally and completely no fun being out there and holding back cause once you start holding back why bother ever going hard? Are you out there to make a few great plays and get burned repeatedly on commonplace ones, and if so, what kind of shallow selfish prick are you? Are you out there to just have a casual run and break a sweat? and if so, you are not me, and did not play competitive ultimate for 15 years.
Go ho or go home.
The last league I played…after 2 years post surgery #2, then a few leagues, and then foolishly running 4 practices with Ironwood in ’06, and then taking another year off since 4 practices of real running made me ache so bad…our team was horrendous. Sam drafted me and i figured semis for sure but flukes and injuries and a 1-8 record and i never played for a team so bad in 20 years. and I was still running hard and throwing my body around every point, still helping total newbs who were just out to have a few beers cause their friends signed them up, still thinking i could change a game, and still feeling the high in those moments when i still could change a game. It is how I play, and it was wonderful, or so it seemed at the time. And so it seemed every time. There is nothing like the rush of body and mind working together to attack! attack on O, attack on D, attack the disc, go ho or go home. Its why i have one knee and suffer shoulder and collarbone achiness and my middle finger on my right hand just feels harder to bend from throwing thousands and thousands of forehands. The pain has finally gotten through to me what no adversity or frustration or grassburn could: stop.
What’s left is dealing with the addiction.
I wish I could find a way to find balance that did not involve pretending I never went to Albuquerque, or could read the reports from Nationals without my heart skipping a beat and a tingling in my cock to run. I can not play, i can not play, and i still can not move on.
The easiest and only solution that has not driven me crazy with desire to play is to stay completely away. My shoulders and hip and knee mostly feel great, which is quite nice. And I do not have the constant restlessness and stress of trying to be a hardcore player in a team sport. The most stress you get on a bike is about sucking, or a stupid hiker, or a car…moments otherwise sealed off in the joy of playing. Ultimate stress and politics did not always blend well with the aggression i brought to playing. Too much stress and aggression; the price for the rush.
All that argues the merits of staying away. i accept this as there being no alternative and not being in constant pain. But it does not address my fundamental dissasociation from myself. I have to not think about things when they come up, and they always come up, and they always trigger memories that only grow less passionate as i stay away from the game.
I must abandon my memories, in bad times kill them off and in good times hold them at bay. How can i look back on these influential once-in-a-lifetime moments and feel their power over me and my history but not be moved to resume the course upon which they were found? How can I abandon my own history? How can I not take pride in who I am today and not see the influence of team sports, the reliance on hard work, and the confidence great plays gave me? If I deny who I am, will i change who i am?
The last time i touched a disc was taking my collection of them down from the walls in the gear room in preparation for the painter. They’ve since been sitting in a hefty bag in the garage. I want to remember my history, i want to write down memories of things i will never do again, the stories behind the discs and the great plays that you never forget. I really want to throw. but i can only barely manage that in moderation. And i wonder if when i am finally able to write down these memories, their resonance will be gone.
a taste in moderation:
The Callahan in 2003: I was captain of Ironwood, we had a great chance to go to Nationals, and the pain and sweat and adversity of all season came down to the backdoor game against Never Nice Guys from San Diego. And everything you could want to have in the game-to-go for us was there: homefield advantage, they played the harder previous game, legs…and we were up 5-3. And then the wheels fell off and so many little things misfired and all that ever was weak about Phoenix Ultimate became exposed in the biggest game of the year against a superior, more-experienced team. And it was 12-5, and then our O finally scored. And I was the D captain, playing in front of hundreds of my local friends, and a great pull that hooked downfield exactly 90 yards in front of me. And a big sprint upfield that became faster as i saw where the pull was landing, and then the realization that they were setting up right in front of me, and then i turned on the jets, and layed out, and was 4 feet in the air and totally horizontal and catching the disc for the defensive score. We lost 15-10.
my first t-shirt in 1989: it was Spring Regionals my freshman year. The team was good, not good enough for Nationals but good enough to come close. I just began to taste what being good was about, I bought a UNCW Seamen t-shirt, an original Toad-Dye – shirts from Toad Leber who was a local fixture in the Wilmington, NC scene. It was the longest road trip I’d ever done, the biggest tourney I’d played in, the best night of post-travel drinking and camaraderie I’d had with the older players during my lonely freshman year. still have the shirt.
picking up with Houston at Centex in 1999: I got plugged in through a friend that I had met through a friend at a tournament in Tucson and impressed enough to get on the team. I had a very solid, very solid weekend with a Nationals team. I played better in the earlier games, but still came on strong in the harder games. I ended the tourney something lke +15, 3 turns all tourney, and 2 goals in the finals which we lost to another Nationals team 19-18 at hard cap. I remember proudly scoring those goals late in the game, in short spaces that were suited to my ability to get open, when the team needed an open cut and another weapon and i came through when the game came to me, and realizing how I could be an effective middle on a Nationals team. I was an Observer at Nationals in San Diego later that year, and some of the guys on that team asked me why I didn’t come out to play with them that fall…cause I didn’t think I could make the roster as an out-of-towner, cause I was mind-fucked by living in Tucson to give up on a chance at a real team, cause i…cause i was stupid and blew my best chance at an Open Nationals appearance. but I could have — i outplayed some of the guys they took to the Show with them that year. I could have. and that is what must count at the end of the day, after 10 years of playing in the desert of Arizona left me nothing to show for it but coulda-beens and never-weres. I could have.
Any man who’s relationship can be measured in increments greater than a lap dance or 1s and 5s watches chick flicks. Its an investment in your long-term sexual well-being. We don’t use them to pick up babes, for that, comedies work best closely followed by movies with Matt Damon. Though personally, i prefer my yoga class.
Don’t deny it, don’t resent it, take charge!
Do’s:
Load the queue. Juno sits at the top of my Q, and currently has a short wait. Right below it at #2 is 3:10 to Yuma. Guess what we’re watching this weekend, though i get credit for trying to get her choice?! hooray for gunplay!
“Accidentally” get the wrong movie. You can justify Million Dollar Baby instead of Bridges of Madison County, since they were both late Clint Eastwood movies and sound sorta feminine. Don’t get too greedy, this ploy won’t work with The Outlaw Josey Wales.
Conveniently forget a crucial component to dinner, or if you don’t forget it, feed it to the dog! So we were eating shrimp and ooops ran out of melted butter. Never mind that the dog puked up 2 whole sticks in the garage – the dog might eat that again, and you get to be the hero and run out to the grocery store. “its ok honey, i know how much you wanted to watch Moonlight Mile” Reward yourself with a 6-pack at the store for being so sensitive of her viewing preferences.
Create an immediate man-crisis that requires your attention. Sabotaging a toilet to run over is almost too easy. See above about your selfless heroism while you are not seeing The Pianist.
Sometimes you gotta give in, so pick a good chick flick like The Devil Wears Prada – its not actually a chick flick, but a good movie with women characters. Here’s how to tell the difference – if you see a trailer for it during a football game, you will be ok. the ride might get bumpy — don’t panic, the NFL would not let you down! If you see a trailer for it during Desperate Housewives, start drinking early if it arrives in your mailbox. If that fails, i think about all the free porn I get cause my wife works for the cable company.
Suppose the unthinkable happens, and she comes home with a copy of Whale Rider, turn this disaster into an opportunity! . Be nice, be supportive, volunteer to to dishes. I missed the entire second half of Elizabethtown cleaning up stir-fry and taking out the recycling. Chicks love men who do dishes.
Don’ts
rent any movie with a heretofore hot or entertaining actress that is described as “mesmerizing”, “effervescent” or “[heretofore hot or entertaining actress] plays against type”. The Good Girl single-handedly ruined my Friends spankbank. even the guest stars.
Suggest your girl goes to a movie with her gay friend. Now at first this seems like a great idea for all involved, but the good company and complete lack of sexual tension will keep them sipping wine spritzers at Applebee’s all night talking and they’ll never even make the movie. She will, however, come home with a head full of viewing suggestions and before you can say “damn you Will & Grace” you will have a mailbox full of Something’s Gotta Give and Six Feet Under series discs.
Gamble. Hilary Swank might be hot, Boys Don’t Cry wasn’t.
The Commitments – good flow, believable characters, good music. 
The Kingdom – rented this cause the chase scene was filmed on the 202 near our house, and turned out to really enjoy it. Believable plot and use of technology, understated violence and characters, i found myself very engrossed in the story. I never thought i’d say this, but the movie was better not getting to see Jennifer Garner in read leather lingerie.
The Last King of Scotland – Forest Whitaker was great. The suggestions of what was going on were very scary. The director did a good job of not having to show too much violence but piggy-backing on the impressions left by Black Hawk Down, Hotel Rwanda and similar African disaster movies. 
Miami Vice – I caught like 20 minutes of this on cable one night, and it struck me as capturing the incredible feel of the original but still being current. A guilty little pleasure i still hold from the 80’s when me and my friends would watch Miami Vice every week together. It was just as much fun! I watched it twice, and the soundtrack kicks ass too with great mood songs by Mogwai, and the instrumental mashup of NumbEncore by Jay-Z and Linkin Park. Nonpoint’s cover of the original “In the Air Tonight” brought the movie together just like Phil Collins’ in the original pilot.
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry – 
Gone Baby Gone – Low key, excellent acting, excellent texture.
Lit
i don’t have as many books, because the library does ont let me review my old queue like Netflix.
The Futurist by James P. Othmer – We actually listened to this as a book on tape, and it was very funny and entertaining and smart for 9 whole CDs! I was hanging out in parking lots wanting to know what happened next.
The Patron Saint of Plagues – Barth Anderson – This describes it well “a page turner that is at once a medical thriller, cyberpunk romp and provocative tease…a novel about race and class, science and faith.â€â€”Salon.com
Tunage
Hustle & Flow Soundtrak – really good, lots of hot songs, complements the movie which was also quite good.
Dropkick Murphys – Blackout – i’ve been on this big time Dropkick Murphy’s kick and got like 4 of their albums recently, but this one i like best. it may be the most commercial, it may be the tightest, it certainly feels sincere — you tell me?!??! but its hard to vote against “Kiss Me I’m Shitfaced.”
Finger Eleven – Them vs You vs Me – Punk, nu metal, catchy – i’m a whore and like it. Lots of good tunes for the mp3 player.
Thinking about some of the historical reasons that contributed to Jewish culture evolving quite as it did, i started thinking about how history is taught, what is important, and the political correctness that surrounds it all. cause it was pissing me off another blah blah blah about how my kind does not get enough time on the curriculum. Rest assured, this will be another rant.
IIRC, a lot of why Jews evolved into some of the cultural roles (and stereotypes) they have, particularly in the financial industries, has to do with Catholicism having laws against usury but there still being an economic need for lenders in the marketplace. Jews had to become lenders to find jobs in a society where people did not otherwise support their businesses.
How important is this little bit of knowledge? How wrong is it that children everywhere do not know this, and I only am so knowledgeable thanks to the benefit of special secret hebrew training (during which they grow horns and plot the Zionist takeover)?
In the broad scheme of democracy, and oil kingdoms, and 10 million people in Beijing having their city shut down so the pollution is not broadcast during Olympic telecasts…this tidbit doesn’t mean shit. And it doesn’t bother me that this fact is actual European history and it wasn’t even taught commonly. There is a difference between happened, noteworthy and significant. Jews specialized in banking – that happened. The Battle of Hastings was noteworthy, but did it in itself fundamentally move history forward? Did the Crusades eliminate 1000 years of intellectual stagnation, or did they just uplift a lot of power and re-arrange it into the same paradigm? The French Revolution, however, was significant – a paradigm that had lasted 1000 years was overturned and rearranged.
These tidbits of history roll off my tongue because i was brought up in a euro-centric culture. All but maybe the French Revoluation are, today, small blips and would not make a list of top 50 event in history. And because i know them at the expense of several weeks spent on African history or Chinese history does not necessarily make some other history as significant to me. The perfection of a vase is not as important as the invention of democracy. The mobilization of half a billion farmers into a world superpower is. They should not be taught equally, just as the War of 1812 gets 1 day and WWII gets covered in bloody detail for at least 2 weeks.
I find some flaws in the phrase he who controls the present controls the past. It assumes such a complete Orwellian view of communications. He who controls the present is part of the past, and it makes sense to tell the story this way. Assuming the past can be monolithically erased assumes that people can not act currently for their own well-being, and will allow their future to be controlled. Bitching about not having the curriculum include a food-court of histories proves that this is not the case. It doesn’t mean insignificant details should be given stage time, just that we appreciate your application and a representative will contact you if your skill set meets our future needs. Meanwhile, take that energy and go teach a class or write a book, since no one has erased you for bitching yet.