chollaball.net

Is it true it’s always happy hour here? and if it is, I’d like to stay awhile
– “Mekong”, The Refreshments

The WOR was a wakeup. about what, I am not sure.  Lack of routine, lack of motivation, lack of planning, lack of actually deciding to get out and enjoy my bikes and be challenged by the fitness required.  Adrift on 2 wheels;  it had to end. I scheduled a Hairball ride with Alex, to be followed 2 days later by Tom’s Thumb->Bell.  Both of us hosting the signature rides in our new houses.

Alex has been riding Hairball every week since he moved from Mesa, but with Doug and Jeff Schneider along to challenge him and show him some new things, and me along to push his pace and ride his wheel through the gnar, the vibe was like the spring wind gusting in from the west - soft, turbulent, soothing, buffeting, refreshing and disconcerting.  I chased Doug and Jeff up VOAZ, then we decided to hike up Upper Cheesegrater and go instantly from 0 to double black.  I watched the other guys trip up on some of the ridiculous grabby chunks, then surprised myself by getting it all on the first try.  The stoke i felt was enough to take the edge off of the humbling going up Irregular Link and down Hairball. The Hairball is slowing down, and someday I’ll get most of it, but not today.  As sloppy as I was, it was still a good ride with no blood and nothing broken, far better than Doug and Jeff who both snapped off their deraileur hangers within a few hundred yards of each other.

Saturday was Tom’s Thumb -> Bell Double Bypass again.  Alex, Ray, Tim, Dave and my bud Aaron who I had not seen in 2 yrs since Moab.

discovered a little issue at midnight cleaning my bike, but strapping tape saved the day

It was a good social pace. I got more and attacked far more than the last ride.  Hard to quantify, but each climb lately seems to get stronger.  A double bypass every week or 2 will surely pay off. I had a nice crash going up a switchback deep into the climb, the price of commitment.  Like Hairball, Tom’s Thumb started to slow down on the 3rd attempt. and the backside is just plain fun once you know whats coming and are not afraid of it.  We rocked up and down Bell, then Paradise->Quartz->Westworld-home->beers.  Great group of buds! I’m so happy they let me show them my new backyard.

Tom’s Thumb

Bell

Ray finishing the climb

Tim

Alex

Tim’s son had grown out of his 16″ bike, which made a great hand-me-down for G. Thanks Tim!!!

she’s got a harem of her own

Beckie went for a ride after we got back.  She was going to putter around on Gateway Loop, then returned 2 hrs later having knocked out her own Dbl Bypass of Windgate\Bell. She never did either of em before, her only beta (cuz I’m pretty sure she does not ready my blog) that it took about an hour to crest Windgate…ballsy to deal with the headgames of a long climb and steep descent by yourself, first time, having not ridden the mtb in like 2 months. 

while waiting for mommy, we played dress-up…Halloween is year-round

then we set off on a G-based-bike-adventure.  She rode great!  The bike was big, but we taught her how to drop it & jump free.  She knocked out 2 laps around the neighborhood, and was ready for a roll down the street.  There is some practice yet to be had, but a great day for G!

bike vids are meaningless without crashes

despite living in a microminiMcMansion, the Chollaballs still hang out under the overpass

I haven’t seen another soul in the open spaces beyond Bell road, which offer plenty of adventure for a little girl and her dog

i’m a fan. big believer. practice, reps, progressions.  It eventually becomes easy and smooth, whatever “it” may be.

i’m a fan especially with G, making her do something a little at a time until she gets it regularly and it feels natural to her, and i don’t have to be some hardass expecting immediate results.  It works with Alana too - making her feed herself in her high chair, then holding her above the ground til she at least tried to put her stubby legs out underneath her, and now putting her food on the low table across the room from her so she learns to use those stubby legs and go feed herowndamnself.

G and i have been working on wiping her butt.  We’ve been working on this for what seems like a year now.  It goes like this:

G: I have to poopy
Me: ok
G: will you wipe my butt when I’m ready?
Me: ok
*tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock*
G: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad?
G: come wipe my butt!
Me: I’d love to, be right there

What the hell else am I gonna do?  This went on for several months, til she seemed to be plateauing.  She managed to drag toilet paper along her buttcrack, but not in the right places, over and over and over again,  and i got tired of her getting all disgusted and taking it out on me. Having a little girl tell you you’re doing a bad job when you’re fisting her with wadded up TP is, imo, unacceptably unappreciative.

Phase II was to enlighten her as to where the mother lode could be found, by plugging about half a roll of Charmin up her poop chute and saying “feel that? that’s where you need to wipe, sweetheart.”  It says something about my relationship with my children that 1) it worked, and 2) Beckie did not even know G was almost capable of wiping herself til about a month ago.  After feeding yourself, cleaning your crack is the most important step in self-empowerment. I’m all about my children being empowered, and me being lazy.

Progress and positive reinforcement are invigorating to G, and this was no different. 3 days ago, she was so happy at her success, elatedly showing me each less-disgusting hunk of TP in succession. She said “its like riding my bike without training wheel, every day we practice!” Awwww…so sweet, except for the toxic smell.  How does a little girl’s insides get so stinky?

Today for the first time she completed the entire process by herself, without me even being in the room.  I was amazed, impressed, overjoyed! I had to go check it out.  Indeed, her butt was clean, her hands were clean, and I did not have to imitate a proctologist.  There were skid marks on the bowl, the sink was covered in water and blobs of soap, and as I found out when I sat on the throne, she had used up the roll.  This is progress.

I tossed her into it a coupla days ago, after she hadn’t much tried in about 3 months.  And *poof* there it was, up and down the street. Mostly ok except for when she was a dumbass going too fast for her own short-attention span.

Trying again a week later and she had it.  And if we can swing it the training wheels wont go on again.  I think every turn and every wobble G is feeling it out more.  I know she is.  Today at the park i watched her climb some bars and in several reps go from me holding her to me steadying her to her grabbing the next set of bars by herself.  Armoring her up was a savvy decision.  Just a little more practice and I’ll start feeling confident she won’t biff without good reason.

I was flattened by Hurricane Genevieve.

Walking and running and eating and restaurants and parking lots and staircases and bleaches and escalators and urinals and i dont know what she did, but i bonked.  From about 9:30 left in the 3rd when the Coyotes scored the go-ahead goal i told Beckie i NEEDED to go.  chollaball was DNF’ing.

A 30 minute car-ride later and I was still exhausted by the constant questions and questions and questions.

I am now hiding in the basement from my daughter.

Fresh and Easy sold 18 eggs for $1.57, so I bought 3. along with the $.79 brown eggs from Sprouts, which can represent the neo-anthropological view of Jesus as an Arab.  Decorating eggs is fun, and i discovered the perfect buzz.  I am calling it Cube C - candy, coffee, and cannabis.  It led to great inspiration for painting and dyeing eggs.  I haven’t done this in years, forever it seems.  Growing up Jewish is mirthless, grinning is a sin.  thankfully Beckie knows about indulgence for the holidays.

we were having so much fun, we made 18 more!

some splash pad time

piece de resistance!

G and Alana have both gotten smarter this week. G finished puzzle, a pretty hard one, that has 16 cubes which each have a side belonging to one of 6 puzzles.  Well, she got 12 of the 16 pieces before getting bored.   Alana recognized me when i picked her up from school, she recognized a popsicle i was giving G and would not stop crying til she got one.

G walked sooner, and I have discounted Alana’s ability to make opinions as a result, that somehow physicality is tied to being and intelligence.  If it is, Alana will be strong and steady but not fast, and probably not too curious.  For the rest of her life I will say that we knew it when she was little.  G has made great friends with the boys in her class cause she loves the playground.  She is among the most physical kids in her class, a third of whom are the 2nd generation of 1st generation asian parents.  Which is cool, but i guarantee they didn’t walk through the desert at 18 months like G did.  i’ve taken it for granted that she got that from us, but Alana at 14 months is taking forever to walk.  Perhaps its just her makeup, and if so, why even bother pushing her?  After all, it was G who always seemed to push herself.

Alana is content, more placid.  She does not gotten the attention i gave G, cause now i have 2 of them, but G has filled in the gaps.  Alana has a playmate.  She defers to G, sometimes G comforts her in the trailer going “dont worry, i got you!“.  Yesterday she had Alana rolling with laughter tickling her in her high chair.  Sometimes Alana waits forlornly for Hurricane Genevieve to wash over the house before she can get greeted by Mommy.  if only she was walking…

Are second kids louder, or quieter?  are they what the other one isn’t? if they are the same at some thing do whatever differences remain seem more obvious?

G finally got to playing with the little girls across the street, mostly cause its finally staying lighter later and I finally got home earlier.  When I suggested it, she ran over to their house with her blanky and proceeded to enthusiastically ring their bell and bang on the door.

A few minutes later they pulled up, and tremendous bike excitement ensued on both sides of the street.  I hung out with their father and kibbitzed while the 3 girls (G, Maddie - 5, and Katelyn - 7) proceeded to circle round us on their bikes shouting like The Three Amigos.  Amazing how fast they hit it off.  They wanted to run and play in each other’s houses, and did not want to go in when it got dark.  We then went for a walk around the block while they rode their bikes.  G has heretofore shown little interest in riding around the neighborhood, and I barely got her round the corner she was so shy.  Now her pending frustration over the rolled curbs toppling her on training wheels has morphed into determination to lose the training wheels.  Nobody wanted to go in for the night, and she got invited to a birthday party in 2 weeks.

That night I asked G if she had fun, but she could not recount the details.  She just kept getting all shivery and saying “i love you daddy!“  We’re both hoping this lives up to its potential.

We took G to her new school today, so she could meet her teachers and her classmates and we could meet the staff, and its not all such a sh0ck in 2 weeks. She was shy for about 2 min. The other kids in her class were very friendly and that made her feel better, nice to see kids of all different colors in the class. as soon as she saw the new toys and new playground she was her typical gregarious self. such a wonderful upbeat little girl - she surely doesnt get it from me.  She insisited on going back to say goodbye to her new teacher.

We drove around the neighborhood, to the house and back, to see the uphills and the downhills and the intersections.  The daycare is 1.2 miles, with 1 big intersection - a vast improvement for our 2-wheeled endeavors vs. now crossing 5 lights and the 202.  The McDowell Mountain Ranch park is 1 mile away, is offering Memorial Day-to-Labor Day memberships for $120, and has a good enough gym and pool to at minimum handle our shit through summer. Though the scenery at Mountainside Fitness will surely be much better, i think the pool shall help compensate for that. Too bad the skate park does not allow bikes - i would love to learn how to drop a bowl.  The nearest unfenced playground is 1 mile away, uphill, which means rolling home will be much better. The desert area is .5 miles for Kila to be onleash, .3 if i duck behind the school.  There is a lot back there, a lot of good walks to be had, probably no super gnar gnar, but i will remedy that with that with a shovel.

Alana and Kila and I rode out to pick up G again, more firestation runzeheunding, more budding bipedalism, but absent any melancholy. Grab it while its good.  Look for the next thing that is good.  Chooses to be near the next thing that is good. I am fortunate that I have had the opportunity to make choices in my life, I am jaded and resolved to continue to take advantage of opportunities, and I am sensitive to reflecting honestly upon them and their fragility.

G wanted to explore the construction site behind the Church again today.  It will only be around for a few more weeks, irregardless of our zip code.  She may ultimately be Daddy’s negotiator for AC service at Casa V. I am stoked on many levels.

R.A. Holmes, PhD, mother of 2, FTW:   Lost Dutchman Marathon, and a spot on the podium today, after just one year.

G and I headed out at 8am to meet Beckie at mile 14.5 by 9.  She came flying in on about a 7.5 minute/mile pace.

she got in so quick G never got into the feeling of watching the race, and was back in the car before having a chance to stretch. The race route ran along ours for about 2 miles, so we waved at Beckie and waited for her where she turned onto the smaller roads at mile 16.

Then out past the finish, where we rode a few miles back on the 2bike.

waiting is hard on a tinyHuman

there’s Mommy!

“Beckie Holmes of Mesa, AZ finishing with her daughter”

3:41

WOW! I’m exhausted. drained. left for dead. Who knew throwing a party for 4 yr olds would be harder than putting on my wedding.

Entertain about 25-30 ranging from 1-70 with the potential for every possible gastrointestinal or preferential oddity ranging from no strawberry to no cashews to no gluten to no lactose.  The entire bed of an F150 just barely contained all the food, chairs, toys, tables and options we ported over to the Las Sendas park.

and a bouncer

i think a lot of people had fun, but i mostly did not.  too busy watching 2 kids and 1 dog and ordering pizza for 20.  i anointed myself Life Guard of the Bouncy Castle, cuz no one else did.  2 kids still suffered minor injuries, i am very relieved i did not get sued.  Is 6 too many on the slide at one time?

other lapses in judgment led to bees

pizza makes everything better

The Lollipop Hunt - 200 candies took 10 min to setup, and 1 min to tear down