at first, Danger Baby was drawn to attractive yet colosal acts of stupidity, bright shiny things that wrapped themselves around death-wishes. Now, Danger Baby is drawn to challenges and puzzles, not knowing the threat they pose.

I was trying to snooze, but as summer has waxed G gets up no later than 7, and I heard the plate and the door of the microwave clunking. I thought it was Beckie returning from her run, but there was oddly too much silence and no t.Human crying “Mommy!” I bolted awake and shot into the kitchen to find G standing on a stool before the microwave, warming up a fridge magnet. She had not fear of the nuclear meltdown and potential trip back in time that lay before her.

Soon after, she turned on the mixer, and reached to put her hand into the bowl.

Today it was opening and closing the oven door.

HOLYFUCKINGSHIT IS NOTHING SAFE?!?!!

The answer of course is no. The kid is smart, or at least understand On switches. It was cute when she turned off the TV in the middle of The Daily Show, but now I’m unplugging every appliance in the kitchen. Don’t even get me started on her abilitly to turn doornobs, move and then climb chairs, or get outside via the dog doors. She might be able to master Myst, but this brings the amount of peril she can get herself into to a whole ‘nother level.