Alana has taken her crying up a notch.   Its to screaming.   Its beyond screaming.   Its Jamie Lee Curtis in-her-heyday-even-before-the-boob-job-made-her-hotter screaming.   She knows exactly what she is doing. She is announcing her presence with authority; she is exerting her will to power.

I kinda squirted some milk down her face by accident, sorta, not.   Cause she was not eating, and screaming so vehemently, so meanly, so hurtfully at me.   At least I didn’t put the pillow over her face.   Not to strangle her, just to muffle her a little. I pick her up in the morning and lie down with her: she shrieks.   Beckie walks out of a room: she shrieks.   Take the spoon away while feeding her: she shrieks.   I’ve started feeding her with 2 spoons – one she believes is by-the-grace-of-god issuing food, the other i stuff into her piehole. I remember G doing this, one of the first things I remember.

It could be she is screaming so passionately cause she really understands about being with people and really doesn’t like being alone.   Can’t walk, can’t crawl, trapped in a pants-based restraining devices.   all she can do is scream.   like jo.

She gets hungry, she knows the food is just out of reach.   She’s like Kila, and inhales all she can, as fast as she can…a mouth with a dog attached to it, a mouth attached to a baby, and hands unable to tease the magic from the spoon.

In the midst of the maintenance you catch her eye, and like a vampire, she does something so insanely cute she freezes you as you light her up with attention.     I’d seen this with G playing with her, how they both are filled by the connection, and lately when she spots Kila or Turtle. But I hadn’t experienced its devastating power much since I’m always dealing with her, not with her.   i felt kinda bad about the mark she got by wrapping a string around her neck, I rubbed her head, and fed her some banana, and made stoopid noises.   She paid me in smiles, then shrieked some more.

She has learned to sit a week shy of her 8th birthday