A recent tour of some pricey Scottsdale homes revealed to me that women who change their otherwise-normal names to slightly pretentious names in order to appear sophisticated do in fact hobnob at higher dollar values, or at least get into real estate. The ostentatious Helenes, Khayleys, and Joodies of the world are now in for some competition, as we are changing Alana’s name to Ælæknæ.   The K is silent, and there will be an umlaut over the ligature ae, thus rendering it phonetically exactly like it is now.   I am still combing the internet for the correct html code to represent this foray into bombast.

I really think this will help her get into a prestigious prePrepCharterMagnet daycare. But Ælæknæ (the k is silent) may still need two middle names, so I might be making a return trip to the Maricopa County Recorder’s Office.