“Another trends gone flat”
— Chronic Future

A week later, and we are almost moved and sustainably settled, evidenced by my   being on the trainer and uploading photos.   The trainer is my chrysalis, and when i have time to ride a bike again I shall emerge a resident of Snotsdale.   Contrasts to Mesa were immediately apparent, others I will be smacked by for months to come.   More people in nicer cars driving self-importantly tops the list.   There are houses closer together, narrower streets, xeriscape, R38 insualtion and businesses so well camoflauged i nearly ran out of gas looking for gas.   There are bike lanes, and smart flow to the signal changes, efficient use of private and public spaces to maximize utility for all, leading to a higher cost per square foot.   There was an article in the Repbulic about the Scottsdale waterfont levying a permit on restaurants to fund sewer and grease trap cleanup, cause the area stank. Commenters bitched about government intervention, and clearly they know nothing of libertarianism or market forces or negative externalities…the business will pass it on to the customer, and draw a more well-healed, more decisive crowd to enjoy a beautiful waterfront experience that does not stink. I lived next to the Salt River for 10 years, and I assure you a year-round non-stinky body of water does not happen naturally in Arizona.   The overriding theme to Scottsdale is people making choices about their choices, and choosing to invest in a lifestyle that strives to be eco-friendly, value-laden, and giving the homeowner what they want and not what they don’t.

Or perhaps I am just projecting.   Scottsdale is definitely more modernly and urbanly designed than Mesa.   People may just follow the crowd and move here on the promise of better; we chose it, since Flagstaff would be a colossal waste of our shiny degrees and current market values.

The garage is enormous, the house is enormous, I passed Jack Shepherd on the way to the back bedroom.   Every square foot is maximized for daily usage, and every ounce of fat is trimmed, much to the chagrin of the movers attempting to get a treadmill up the stairs and around the corner.     Every corner can be well lit, its quiet and dark and light in all the right places.   It feels just a bit too tiny, like an ipod, a Japanese template of cleverness for a tidy miniMcMansion. Except for the side yard, which is just barely not wide enough to let the garbage can and the recycling can pass. Its kafka-esque. We have no side yard, whatsoever, but a beautiful wall of windows in the office that looks out onto the only functionally smart space to store the trash.   Trimmed a little too close with that one.   Perhaps $5k more would have bought me 1000 feet more in the lot, and perhaps I’d still be shopping and waiting a year from now.   *SHRUG*.   Its so small as to exactly fit a pool and a spa and a bbq, and is visible on the corner.   A fishbowl.   Beckie and I both grew up on huge yards, our shitbag 1400 sq ft Tucson house had a HUGE backyard. Our Mesa house is a test lab for the NAU College of Forestry. Our new house has nothing. It has less than nothing, it has so little, there is not even room for me to store tools i will not need.

There is more, i don’t see it yet, but i see more possibilities every day.   The garden we could not maintain in Mesa may be a manageable source of fresh chilis. Vines and oleander will give us privacy.   Brushing off catclaw of opportunity and angst was my mental trainer for the long days ahead where i would not get to work out or ride, full of time-sensitive milestones, rented resources, labor rates, and dependencies.   Days of project planning in the making, and within the first mile on the entrance ramp, a dooshbag in a full size pickup jumped between us only to hang out right behind Beckie and her F150 and her ATV trailer laden with shit,   going 50 in the 65 zone. Never ceases to amaze how dumb drivers are not to notice 2 cars riding together like 2 bikes. i pulled out a roadie trick: if you cant get on a passing line, speed up, and force your way in until they realize they will die if they don’t fucking let you in. Its hard to miss a shiny black car, with 2 bikes hanging off the rack on nearly every trip.   I was the Bandit running blocker with Alana, keeping the tailgaters away.

marking my territory

The schedule on Friday went like this: arise, fill vehicles to overflowing, arrive, sweep and blow out garage, inspect all closets and cabinets, unload all into garage, return and complete packing and loading. There was no time to eat, sleep, chill built into the schedule. I have no idea when I went to bed, but i woke up early.

the old owners accidentally left this, and i am taking to rum after about a 20 year layoff


very full garage after only 2 trips

Saturday was tighter. Drive, unload, expunge from the garage into closets and counters at a ballistic rate, drive, reload, repeat, greet maid service to clean all the crannies, drive, pack.

I met the neighbor across the street, he was clipping his bushes with bonsai-care, and picking up stray leaves with his bare hands. I blew out my garage with a garden blower before unloading, and am about to halve a plant that is in my truck’s parking spot. Somewhere, I still have a drill bit case autographed by Tim Allen in 1991. I bet no one in this hood has   a chain saw oush oush!

Allegedly the new neighbor has a 5 yr old girl. We shall surely find out soon when G and I let the freak flag fly. He said   “dont be alarmed if you hear loud music and drug delaing“. I said be sure to invite me. We shall see… Glen next door turned out to be a great guy, but a challenge to gel with at first. This could be too easy.

The maids went in circles for 2 hours within 5 miles of the house, and i was helpless to help them as i barely knew the area.   I was amazed at how incompetent they were with directions.   Not mapquesting is very beaner, and while its mean to write this, they are not on the internet.     I gave them $10 extra for gas, while they cleaned my half million dollar house. Does that make me a dick, or a guy giving 15% for $70 worth of work that was 2 hrs late?   The crew that cleaned the Mesa house today appreciated the tips every year, and asked for me to ask for them when we move.   They were playing the radio while i was weeding, and sheepishly asked it it was ok – i busted up laughing, they asked me to say hi to G and Alana for them.

I sallied forth to rescue the cleaning service, and got a look at the bridge over the canal into Horseworld.   College Nationals was held here in 1990, my first trip to Arizona.   Its got paths, and is a nice steep pitch that is begging for jumps. I need to explore. I want to explore the desert areas and the streets more than i want to ride the trails or the roadie routes.   I need my comfot zone, like a cat, doing concentrice circles of caution and daring, gradually expanding the cat-empire.

Turtle bolted across the street the instant we let her out of the car, and was not seen for 10 hrs.   We called all day for her, and she finally strolled nonchalantly out of the garage.   It took me 2 days to find my cell phone charger, perhaps she was there all along.   She is a smart cat. She now darts cautiously about, learning all the patterns I want to see but have not had time.

Sunday was much the same as Saturday, with heaping heaps of stuff and vehicles, but now we thought it was time to bring Bette and G. The hitch-hauler and Prius were conscripted. Kila rolls with me. G gets her first look at the house.

That night i runzeheunded out behind the high school down some quad tracks and back. A tidy 3 or so miles in a lazy hour, all but .5 miles of it off leash. Score one for the new house, and despite the shocking density vs. Mesa, we had the night to ourselves.

last chopper out of Saigon

magazine detritus over the treadmill

Last project on Sunday before working with the movers Monday at 8am was to template the pool table.   Only 1 shot at this, the pressure was amazing…

the movers were quite cool and way cheaper than pool table movers and taught me a few things about the table.   Its not as hard to scootch around as I thought.   Thanks Always Professional in Moving. Awesome job and great value.   And, tipping the movers after load but before unload was a savvy veteran move.

cant wait to view the table from the blimp during games

The cable guy came, i fixed things and installed things, i lost track of time and space and diet, it became a pseuo-sisyphean tunnel of honey-do tasks.   I spent 10 hours on Tuesday in an empty house not saying a word other than babbling to myself as i patched and painted away 10 yrs of hard living, went snow blind painting the white master closet another shade of white.   Coupled with Thursday’s weed-a-thon, i want to shed the Mesa house like a sticky booger and hug the agent-orange blight in the Scottsdale place.   At least this week.

stains are grosser when you can see their source

locking up for a final time