if you’re listening to this, you are the resistance

work laid off more people, part of our new merger. the choices were the correct ones, as i’ve noticed our layoffs often are, between the competence and the relevance and the irreplaceability and compatibility. It makes you continue to value remaining valuable, if you are only clever enough to see the patterns before you.

Or lucky enough.   People interpret differnt things different ways. Vehement fights over the stress of the new house and the old house and the children with my wife who i know is smart and steady and capable and tenacious…proof that confidence without crippling doubt is precious and elusive.

Post merger, we are the 3rd largest ecommerce company in the world.   I alone must protect The Shopping Cart. I doubt it is that different at Microsoft.   To be effective, you must keep an edge, every employee up to the top needs motivation.   You need to be faster than the slowest guy, and smarter than the dinosaur, and specialize.

I am better than average.   I installed a new router, built a java keystore, and upgraded the backup plugin on my website while tracking the McNabb trades on espn and learning about SiteShield. i can now answer the night’s email while still cozy in bed, and surf for porn from my balcony at blazing fast speeds.   Project #5 was interrupted by Project #6. Upon returning to Projet #5, I will be immersed in a world of filters, forwarding and blacklists that I know little about. In a week I will be smarter and more marketable, during the next week I will be angst-ridden and ulcerated.

Last week I drove to the old home at rush hour, talked to the neighbors, went to veggies stand, gym, grocery store, then all the way out to scottsdale. It was trippy.   i pick up my kids from school in a bike, while parents in suits and lexus’ look askance. i dont want them overscheduled, and i dont want me overscheduled, and i dont want to pay for square footage only to park in my garage. I enjoy my work, and would be doing it even if i wasn’t working. is the rat racing if he enjoys the exercise and the cheese?

oink oink

The Squealer!   4th year in a row.   I was out of shape, and like every year, could not sleep the night before.   At least the lighter and faster Hei Hei would help me.   Bombing down the 2 big tech descents at 20 mph on the Heckler is nice, but that lasts about 12 minutes and gains you very little from going 16 on the leaner, lighter 29er.   Climbing at 7mph instead of 6 is huge when it takes 1.5 hrs.

G is proficient in the art of Stickers, and helped me burn in the first bike stand setup in the new house
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From the first moment carrying the Hei Hei up to the start atop the Rigdgeline trail, I knew it was the right decision for speed.   I couldn’t help but notice last year how i kept getting passed on the hike-a-bikes – passed while walking!!!!! – with my giant 6inch travel brick.   This year I knew would be faster.

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The guy behind me was named Helm Hanson, or something that similarly reeks of viking brutality.   From the gun all i thought was “Helm Hanson is coming to get me.   the wrathful Helm Hanson, the terrible Helm Hanson, the dread Helm Hanson“. I was on top of Widowmaker at barely 15 minutes, the Hei Hei so fast it pushed me too hard, and from the first few minutes the challenge would be to sustain this pace and keep up with the bike and not go anaerobic.   I did pretty good, if not being able to ride out of the wash the race ended in is indicative of leaving it all on the field.   I reached BV in 40 min (a PR) and Telegraph Pass in 1:02 (a PR).   It would have been faster, but a fellow rider endo’d 4 feet in front of me on the Catwalk on National.   I jumped off to avoid running him over, and congratulated him at the Awards Ceremony when he won for Bloodiest.   Bob   rolled up on me exiting at Telegraph, and i used him to pace me on the hike-a-bike.   Bob bolted out 2/3rds of the way up, but i noticed that i passed 1 person, and dropped all behind me. I no longer feared the dreaded Helm Hanson.

The next 40 minutes is mostly a blur, a countdown between the juice left in my legs vs the remaining steeps vs not wheezing for air on the loose, steep descents.   I could have done better if i was in better shape, but did pretty good nonetheless.   The steep-and-loose exit off West National is just not that bad anymore.   Its fun to go big, but its nice to go fast.   I checked in at 2:01 – a minute off my goal! I finished in about 2:35 my first Squealer 3 yrs ago, and 1:50 is a reasonable goal.   Bob hit 1:45, Doug 1:46, James a very respectable 2:40 after picking up a bike only a year ago.

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a great lady named Bev makes these most excellent chocolate chip cookies that are as big as your fist.   I have known of her brilliance since last Squealer, again at the Crazy 88, and finally met her when James and Bob introduced me.   G and Alana say thanks for the cookie and another great Squealer.

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The Bipedalist

the coolest part about this was that it was, in fact, her first steps.   The camera and our attention were in the right place at the right time.

Since last night, she’s been hanging off of anything to keep herself vertical.   She managed to get down 8 steps by looking down at the drop, mushing her mushy foot out there, grabbing some rails, and transitioning down a step. I guess she was in a zone and it just all came together, just like 3 days into a ski trip.

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Zombie Jesus Day

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Fresh and Easy sold 18 eggs for $1.57, so I bought 3. along with the $.79 brown eggs from Sprouts, which can represent the neo-anthropological view of Jesus as an Arab.   Decorating eggs is fun, and i discovered the perfect buzz.   I am calling it Cube C – candy, coffee, and cannabis.   It led to great inspiration for painting and dyeing eggs.   I haven’t done this in years, forever it seems.   Growing up Jewish is mirthless, grinning is a sin.   thankfully Beckie knows about indulgence for the holidays.

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we were having so much fun, we made 18 more!
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some splash pad time
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piece de resistance!

doin me

The settling has finally begun – I slept til almost noon.   I didn’t really sleep, i got up when everyone else did, then just lounged in bed and enjoyed the feelings of softness all around me and gravity not resisting.   That last 3 weeks had been so hard, i forget its been only 3 weeks.   Had I not promised G, Kila and myself to spend some quality time together, I probably would have stayed in bed til about 2:30.   Instead i sat in a comfortable chair and sipped coffee and researched projects, until G got fired up to take the 2-Bike to the park with me.   But the tire was flat and out of spunk, which led to me searching for things to refill spunk, which led to things getting put away, which led to some research about projects.

We finally launched, and explored out the multiuse trails to the west and the south, past Westworld to Horizon Park, and the playground, and new children. I found a staircase, a skinny, some steep point-and-shoots, a serious trial that leads to nowhere, and a booter someone built up at the bottom of the culvert off Thompson Peak Parkway. A good 10 miles of urban\xc along with what Kila and I explored last week, more running the length of Sanctuary Golf Course and hooking into all the Preserve trails, or so Beckie tells me.   It will take most of the sting out of not being able to night ride the McDowells.   It can be XC, CX, or AM – depending on the mood.   Over the last few days I have done them all – the Heckler with Kila at night for jumps and hooliganism, CX out into my commute or picking the girls up from school, XC to the swim club and back.   I hit the booters, there are actually 2 of them, but I get ahead of myself…

I found this while we were packing up our things. My first trip to Arizona, we went 1-4 and lost by 2 goals each, a few plays away from semis, or at least top 8.   The tournament was held at what was then called Horseworld.   And now I live next to it, and it is the beginning of almost every ride.   Down the block and suddenly the sprawl opens into an enormous steep half mile long valley on which i’ve seen barely another soul while rolling it almost every day this week. I’m sure it was there in 1990.

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The new house is at the foot of the 104th St trailhead up Windgate and Tom’s Thumb, and its probably the best spot in the Valley for roadieing.   But I’ve been utterly disinterested. been there, done that, fun but no mystery.   I need to know the terrain spreading out from my driveway, to my office, to the girls’ school, to where i will runzehend, to where i will live. My goal is to host the next suburban terrorist ride, with all killer no filler.   RECENT UPDATE: the pylons blocking   entrance to the High School make for a tight slalom challenge. I would have gone faster if I had less beer. The local haunts are at least as good as Mesa, but I struggle to accept it because i have not yet embraced the gems, or found my flow.   Making wrong turns on a first ride definitely affects flow, but missing my jump pit or 1 hr round trip on Tower Trail are open wounds that are far from scabbing.   The second time I picked G and Alana up from school while runnig Kila through the wash by Westworld, I bullied up enough speed to get the doubletrack out of the wash, and with time on our hands Kila and I explored what other trailer-friendly routes might come out of it, only to blow my front tire, 5 minutes from school, 8 minutes til closing.   The rims on the Masi are pieces of shit anyway, so i hammered on my flat, and continued to make a positive impression on the staff by showing up at the closing bell with a broken   bike.

I tried half my commute, enough to get under the 101 and onto the Pima multiuse path. The next day i went all in after voracious google-earthing, staring at the Maricopa County Bike Map, and some help from the incomparable YuriB. That pima path becomes a frontage road to Pima that takes me all the way to McDowell in S. Scottsdale, just like before.   I made it in just under and hour.   There are many options between the office and home, some longer and more scenic than others, some swinging by Rage   – the canal, a tour through Paradise Valley, the greenbelt. I took the greenbelt home, then on bike lanes back to the Pima path, and stumbled onto a pedestiran tunnel a under FLW and Thompson peak, and right into Horizon Park – very nice for avoiding all those death-filled intersections. Getting home to my two girls is 2x the inspiration.   After they are in the car and screaming, I wonder why? but as I spin out the poison of the workday and the traffic and the city and my own need for a workout, i think only of their soft skin touching me when i hug them.

I’ve been a few times tot the Mcdowell Mtn Pool – tempertaure was perfect; whatever temps are to be perfect in a pool…that was it. and the walls were also perfect – i hit 19 flip turns perfectly after not flipping in yrs cause the walls were not perfect. the gym was nice and effective, but the scneary sucked. G will be taking swim lessons next month, and I can’t wait for bike trips to the pool with snacks and books and toys.   I hit a staircase up on the ride out, then turned around and hit a harder one down.

There is a skate park, which I really want to try, but they explicitly ask for no bikes.   The skatepark has no way out, once you drop the bowl.   Its something of a fable for Scottsdale.   People are everywhere, and they all want to have fun, but there are rules to dense society.   Large yards are traded for common spaces, bikes landes for wide streets.   Its different, and I feel anthrophobic.   But its not that bad.   Across the street from our neighborhood is a power station with 200 yards all around, and Kila and I traversed unnoticed and unleashed, what will be a dog-walk and free-weight route.   The high school is deserted at night, and we have found miles of trails to the north along with the ones to the south.   There are dark places, everywhere, if you look for them.   When i first rode around the area it looked so slaggy and desert compared to Mesa, but now its starting to grow on me cause it looks so much more natural when its done well along the neighborhoods.     much less horrible than blank walls and asphalt.

I needed a motivation to get back in shape, and to stop sloshing about on the trainer and lollyigagging around the local topography.   My good friend JT was sponsoring a cancer benefit, a 100 miles to Nowhere.   $40 bucks got me a benjamin, a corporate double-match to my donation, some beer and snacks, the company of many of the ultimate crowd, and the good company of JT and his family.   Why JT and I are friends is a curiosity, as we only played together one time at Cat in the Hat in Tucson.   But we won the tournament, with him tossing me the dump to set up the scoring throw.   We’ve had good chemistry ever since.   JT’s route was a 2 mile half-circle out, and then back, from his garage.   The wind hit you at different spots along the circle, in both directions. 16 mph for .5 mile, 22 for .5 mile, repeat.   Over 23 4.3 mile laps, 207 stop signs (of which I ran approximately 175), it kept you focused on the micro-changes and challenges.   I refused to wave to anyone, who I would see again 6 minutes later – not any of the 50 serious bikers, enthusiasts, 75 year old grandmothers, children, or dogs received ad single wave.   I emerged from it exhausted, burned by the white noise, stronger, a pace that was steady for 5.5 hrs, and embracing suffering on the bike again.

I mapped out how to fit the cars in the driveway to load children in cars and prevent door-dings, and egress bike-trailers from garages and prevent door-dings.   There are flags, and chalk lines.

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Then I called in sick to ride National with Alex.   I couldn’t hardly crawl up anything til above the Waterfall, then i started to hit it all, and was as airborne as possible for the ride down.   My bike stand and work table are mostly setup, and soon i will ride Tom’s Thumb.   But I’m doing the Squealer first, cause the McDowells aren’t going anywhere.   Any excuses heretofore can not rest on the move.