This summer has been the hardest i know. So many large projects and siteeations, no willpower to get up or get out. The only place I refused to yield is getting the kids to the pool.This likely contributes to my beatendownednessocity.

Its like this: we are soon heading to my nephew’s bar mitzvah, and G asked if we would go talk to god. No baby, no. I don’t want you   to ruin the service, or it to ruin you. You and Alana and Mommy will dress up and give hugs pre-service, then vanish to the playroom for 1.5 hours while Daddy takes 4 slugs of God to the chest for the family.*

That is like taking kids to the pool.

I enter my zen, my dragon, my prePainCave, getting ready for clawing and ripping and 4-footed kicks in the junk, meatbombs crashing from out of the sky, kickboards cracking me under the chin.

Its amazing i haven’t bitten my tongue or had a seizure this summer.

I love my kids. really. keep repeating

We play fighting games, wrestling, basketball and racing. G is a long-haired dress-wearing tomboy. She took out 4 boys at a Pump It Up party, 3 of them twice. Each day she asks to do laps, cause she likes ice cream, and she likes challenging herself, and seeing her progress.   I know this about her, she does not yet.

Alana is a completely different swimmer from barely a month ago. No fear of the water, comfortable under the surface for 5 seconds at a time in ways G never was. She   discovered goggles. The first time she freaked out and howled til i stuffed her under water and screamed ‘LOOK!!!!’ Two eyes were full moons, trying to find teenytiny words to describe what she saw. On the way home i bought her a pair of her own. Now she can’t jump in fast enough, learning to cannonball, and yesterday for the first time embracing the autonomy of water wings. I embraced the 20% fresh bandwidth in my throughput.

They usually crap out after about an hour. So I can timebox my suffering, and force myself to keep smiling and playing their games. I get raked down the back, a knotted quad, and choke held. How the fuck did that only take a minute and a half!!!! A minute and a fucking half! Its like sex-time.

*no offense to my religious friends, who if you are reading know and respect our differences