Alana’s days go like this:
- 25% whining
- 30% shrieking
- 20% in agony
- 10% in joy
- 20% adorable
- 25% willful little bitching
I want to ram other drivers, be surly towards lifeguards, and pick fights on the intertubez cause I can’t smack the shit out of my daughter.
I can, however, let her sister do it.
Alana: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddy, Genevieve not sharing!!!!
Me: m’kay, don’t care Alana
Alana: Genevieve pushed me!!!!
Me: *blink**blink*
Alana: Walk away, Yayo!
Me: Alana, quit whining
Sometimes i let her fall and cry alone when she won’t do what she is told. Sometimes i grab her sack-like and porter her while she screams for mommy, taking cruel pleasure in her discomfort. When Beckie also loses her patience i feel vindicated. I say things to her like ‘GET! IN! THE! CAR!‘ then am plagued with guilt until i have a chance to make it right, only to lose my patience all over again and consider just walking out without her. I can’t do this, every single day, without my own tantrums. I’m coping by adopting simpler goals – only a tiny bit of shouting, or dragging, or slinging her by her britches.
I’m sure G pulled all this shit too, but i’m too tired to go back and read about it. A 2 parent : 1 tinyHuman ratio was so much easier. This is like 1:6. Multiples are by 2s in fantasy league scoring:
(.5 human * .75 human) * 2 monsters * 2x disregard for my personal space * 2x canDrown
Alana is going through the “terrible twos” which will be followed by the “miserable threes” and the “horrible fours.” Five is a wonderful age, as you are finding out with G. with everything at equilibrium in their life. Then it goes downhill again starting with six and seven and slowing rises until the child reaches equilibrium again at 10.
There was a wonderful book I had and used, “Children Ages 1-10 written by Drs. Ilg and Ames, a pediatrician and a psychologist which described each year’s expectations. I recommended it to soooooooooo many of my students’ parents. I gave my copy to Moira who probably still has it. It doesn’t make dealing with your child any easier but it does reassure you that what the child and you are experiencing is normal and that you, as the parent, are not causing this behavior. Some children go really deep into each stage; others dip so little into it that you don’t even know the child is in it. The lesson from all of it is that each child must go through each stage for his development and if he doesn’t then it’s not good because he isn’t developing his independence, etc. All said, however, doesn’t make it any easier when you are trying to reason with a willful 2 year old!