Give These To Kila

Starring: G & K

By: J

1. Pay well
2. blah blah blah whatever the fuck you want
3. Pay well
4. Be nice, have a nice tinyHuman
5. Pay well

Apparently Samantha has been pimping us out, and Gina’s lost cell phone has created a power-vacuum at KinderCare. G is in demand. I should call myself “Drew Rosenhaus”. I have a backlog. I should go on a 2 week vacation and let all these sitters duke it out.

I bruised my ribs badly riding in Flag the other day. 2 days of hurting every time I cough or sit up straight, and I am brittle and cranky. Today I am dressing G, which is always part WWF and part S&M. She manages to get me right on the spot. How does this happen?!?! Its is not visibly swollen or black-and-blue. She’s a Monster, and I’m getting waylaid by a baby! I recoil and go “Owww” way loudly, thinking foolishly, G will learn from this that Daddy has an oweee and leave it alone. Just the opposite. Its a new variation on Boop!, like “The Nose Game” and “The Bellybutton Game.” So as I’m trying not to get mad and finish dressing her, she starts running her tiny hand around my side looking for the magic button that will make Daddy make such a funny noise again, frustrated because it is not visibly swollen or black-and blue, and Daddy will not make the funny noise again. Little bitch!