Alana hasn’t done much in the way of cooing or chirping; its not really her idiom.   My memories of G are so packed in with so little time for reflection, it wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t do the cute baby things at this stage either and I’m just mixing them up in my head.

Alana’s howling is well-documented, but other silliness comes out of her.   The baby sucks, loudly, hungrily, like a golf ball through a garden hose, the paint off a trailer hitch…someday she will make some man very happy.   Or maybe very frightened, like the guy in the Darwin Awards who tried to use a high-powered shop vac for a Valentine’s Day date.

She breathes a lot too.   A LOT! Pick her up, and you hear very intense very focused respiration, the mere process of being vertical taxing her tinyCapabilities for all they are worth.   Usually about this time is when she ass-pees, and a little squirting gurgling noise seeps out of her little bottom and ripples up through my hand.   Sometimes the noise is so faint i’m not sure if I’m feeling it or hearing it.   Who knew moist poo could be so cute.

Her farts are the funniest by far.   They are shameless, and shake the room.   You always figure big dudes=big farts — NOT SO!   Its more a ratio of gasseous volume to valve diameter.   Still, you just don’t expect them to have such a deep bassline.   I expect to see a plump pair of jammies shooting across the room like a deflating balloon in their wake, and a dessicated little stick figure left lying in the basinette.