I have progressively developed some distance from Alana since the initial wave of euphoric fatherhood washed over me.   The poop doesn’t bother me, and the crying is aggravating but understandable.   Its her apathy.   She’s just begun to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a stretch, and only about 2 weeks ago did I convince myself she was not blind or dimwitted as her eyes began to focus and follow me.   Most days she just has what Beckie calls the 20-yard stare.

She is boring.

Soon enough she will demand attention, music and sounds from her bouncy chairs, Baby Einsteins and all those puppets.   But for now I’d be quite appreciative if she just smiled a little. Its like trying to get all mushy over a pet hermit crab, they just don’t inspire the heart to sing.

I am kinda looking forward to Beckie going back to work, since I will have Alana all to myself a couple days a week, and maybe we can start to find some connection.

the closest I’ve come to smiling for Daddy

the most exciting thing I’ve done, ever